


Coffee Cup Emoji

by dannyavidAAAng



Series: Complications of Coffee [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:26:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 34,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2847647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannyavidAAAng/pseuds/dannyavidAAAng
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Barnes & Noble Starbucks isn't typically the kind of café to develop regulars, but Gerard certainly isn't complaining</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Coffee Shop!AU's but in all the ones I've found Frank is always the barista so I decided to mix it up

Gerard had been working at the Starbucks nestled in the back of the Barnes & Noble for about two months now. He had decided at the end of the previous spring semester to take a few summer classes and then to take the fall semester off and work full time to finally get around to saving up some money. He had applied to all kinds of comic shops, art stores, cafes, and book stores but had opted for the Starbucks at which he was now employed because a) over priced coffee is where too much of his money went and he hoped this would help, b) it also gave him a discount to the Barnes and Noble which was nice, c) because it was located in Barnes and Noble it was slower than the typical Starbucks which led to d) he wasn’t very good at being a barista which didn’t matter at a B&N Starbucks. Really the only downside was that at normal Starbucks there was always a handful of people working while at B&N cafes there was two at most and Gerard would find himself confusingly stumbling through his job by himself far too often for his taste. But he learned to live with it and thankfully the patrons of the Barnes and Noble Starbucks showed more patience than was typical for citizens of the great New York City.  
So in the middle of July he began training at the café and when his summer classes ended Gerard began working almost every day, mostly the late shifts. His family hadn’t had a problem with him taking a semester off, but once he had explained that it did not involve him staying at home for during that time their opinion had faltered a bit. His mother and father still supported him, and of course Mikey always supported him though Gerard knew he had felt slightly betrayed that Gerard had once again chosen life in the city over him. Mikey understood, would have done the same thing if he was the older brother, but Gerard knew it was still hard for him to not take it somewhat personally even if Mikey didn’t show it.  
Gerard tapped his finger on the counter he was leaning on, looked around the empty café are and moved his dyed red hair out of his eyes. He missed the feeling of pushing his hands through his long hair but after pulling it back into an extremely annoying pony tail for two months he had had enough and had cut it himself last night with child scissors he owned for some reason he could not recall. Gerard knew it was a disaster and didn’t mind that, but had put on a beanie that day because it was already chilly despite it being mid-September and he also would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling at least a little self-conscious about his butchered hair.  
Gerard turned around to lean back against the counter and pulled the beanie off, working his fingers through the back of his hair, fluffing up the unfamiliar short ends.  
“Wow,” a voice said behind him, “You’ve got some rad hair, man.”  
Gerard spun around, startled, and met eyes with the cutest boy he had ever seen. He was shorter than Gerard, with the cutest nose and a nice pair of hazel eyes and a smile that made him absolutely adorable. His hair was black, Gerard would bet dyed though the color suited him, a bit shaggy, longer than Gerard’s current hair but shorter than the hair he had yesterday and it fell mostly on one side of his face. He wore jeans, and an old black t-shirt that was too faded to see what it was originally supposed to represent, and a flannel which led Gerard to believe that he was possibly also fighting the chilly air.  
Gerard felt himself blush at the realization he went too long without responding, “Uh,” he started just trying to fill the silence, “Thanks, I mean, yeah. Um. I cut it myself. Last night? Yeah. Last night.”  
The stranger raised one of his perfectly arched eyebrows, his smile unfaltering, “Oh?”  
Gerard knew, could feel himself on the verge of rambling and oh my gosh he was totally going to embarrass himself and it was just better to awkwardly shut up and deal with it but he had never been able to do that before and by God he wasn’t gonna change himself now, “Yeah, like, I had to cut it for here, ya know? It was long before, not like super long but a little longer than yours’ now. Anyways, I’m an art student, right? And I’ve done drag before for like school and just art in general or whatever and man I am killer at it. Like, I don’t know but I’m just really good at it. So I figured I’m a natural at makeup so I’ve got this cosmetology thing down right? And, well yeah, no.” Gerard smiled sheepishly, though he was dying on the inside. He could not believe he just rambled, that he rambled to a cute boy, and that while doing it he admitted to doing drag and to thinking he was good at it and there was no way that that wasn’t just way too much information for anyone let alone this very cute stranger.  
But said very cute stranger was laughing, so hard his eyes were closed. Upon hearing this genuine laugh Gerard’s smile turned equally genuine. “Aw man,” the guy said, “Now I’m having a very hard time focusing and not picturing your cute ass in drag.  
Gerard had died. He had died and by the grace of a God his faith was shaky about he had gone to a very real and very ideal Heaven. Gerard was biting a hole in his mouth and though he felt no pain he could clearly taste the blood so this had to be reality right? “Thanks,” Gerard said, blushing again, and then out of habit and a desperate attempt to keep any kind of conversation moving, “Can I get you anything?”  
The guy nodded, and studied the menu for a bit, biting his lip, “Aw man don’t judge me but I’m gonna have to get one of those pumpkin drinks.” He gave a small smile, somewhat embarrassed, and the light glinted off his lip ring that Gerard just happened to find very sexy and now couldn’t ignore.  
Gerard only nodded as he entered the order in, knowing he was no longer able to talk like a normal person, and reached his hand out for payment. As he was handed cash and a card Gerard took advantage of the moment to examine some of the guy’s tattoos and though Gerard knew he already liked tattoos he decided then that he really liked tattoos.  
He swiped the card first upon seeing it was a B&N member’s cards and made a mental note of the guy’s name. Frank.  
Gerard handed Frank his change and then turned to make the drink, grabbing a sharpie and the cup he needed. They rarely wrote down patron’s names at the B&N café simply because there was no need to, but the sharpie was still there just in case.  
As Gerard made Frank’s drink he heard a phone ring and then Frank’s voice answering it. He sounded slightly stressed, and Gerard hurried through writing “Frankie” on the cup and made the zombie doodle less intricate than originally planned, also opting out of writing his number which is definitely something someone more confident than him would certainly do.  
He set the drink down, purposely keeping the doodle on the other side of Frank who was still on the phone. Frank smiled and nodded at him in acknowledgement as he picked up the drink, not noticing the doodle, and then left, leaving Gerard with mixed feelings of relief and disappointment.  
Well then. That was sure to be the highlight of his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

When Frank hadn’t returned the next day Gerard had allowed him to slip out of his thoughts. Sure, he would admit to having convinced himself that Frank was his soul mate and fate had brought them together, but he had had that feeling with plenty of strangers and New York was obviously a big city so the likelihood of actually ever seeing him again was very slim. A Barnes and Noble Starbucks isn’t very spectacular at attracting regulars, after all. 

The point is that Gerard wasn’t expecting to see Frank walk back up to the counter two days later, and he certainly wasn’t expecting for his heart to flutter the way it did when he saw him. 

“Hey,” Frank said smiling, “I saw you last time I was here, uh,” he squinted a bit, seeking out the nametag Gerard was wearing, “Gerard.”

Gerard smiled, taking a moment to look over the scorpion tattoo on Frank’s neck, “Yeah that was me, I work here like every night and sometimes in the morning too.” 

“Yeah cool, I was actually hoping you’d be here. Like, I wanted to apologize for running out the way I did and not complimenting you properly on the wicked zombie you left me on the cup.”

Gerard blushed at the compliment, and was now suffering from an internal mini-freak out. Frank was hoping he’d be here? Frank was apologizing for normal customer behavior? Frank had taken time out of his day just in hopes of seeing Gerard again? It was simply too much. 

“Yeah, uh it’s no big deal,” Gerard said, and then with all the confidence he possessed added, “I like to leave something special for the really cute customers, ya know? The ones that make the shift more bearable.” 

And now Frank was the one blushing, breaking his eye contact with Gerard to look down at his shoes and he had this huge kid-like smile on his face. Gerard felt relief wash over him, and was a bit elated at the thought that he had just made Frankie blush. 

All of a sudden he heard someone clear their throat and then noticed that there was a lady standing behind Frank. “Oh, uh, anyway can I get you anything?” Gerard asked, now a bit flustered since he had no idea how long the lady had been waiting there. 

Frank nodded, obviously also caught off guard by the woman, “Yeah, uh, just a black coffee today.”

Gerard nodded and entered the order, smiling when his hand brushed Frank’s as he paid and purposely took a little longer than necessary handing him his change. Frank noticed and gave Gerard a small smile in return. 

Gerard hurried through taking the woman’s order, the drink was rather complicated and Gerard imagined it was something from the secret menu she had seen on Pinterest or something similar to that. He quickly got Frank his drink, once again taking the time to write “Frankie” on the cup but dotting the “i” with a heart instead of leaving another doodle. However, Gerard still ignored the urge to write out his number on it as well, knowing he’d be kicking himself mentally for it later but wasn’t in the mood for a mental debate with himself over the matter at the moment. 

When Frank picked up his drink he continued standing there for a moment, seeming unsure and just watched Gerard go through the steps of making the lady’s drink. Once he saw others lining up to order though he turned and walked out. Gerard was a bit disappointed, but couldn’t really dwell on it because the rest of his shift consisted of a steady flow of customers. 

 

The next day was Friday and Gerard had an unusual morning shift, but even more unusual was that he was not working into the night shift as well. He had taken the weekend off, much to the annoyance of his boss who depended heavily on Gerard’s workaholic lifestyle (whatever, Gerard had told him two weeks in advance so his boss had the time to find covers), because Mikey was coming up for an “emergency visit”. 

“Gee, I need to come up and see you. I am quite literally dying!” Mikey had told him over the phone at the beginning of September. 

Gerard had rolled his eyes, tempted to tell Mikey he was being overdramatic but knew his brother hated showing even this much emotion so it was kind of a big deal, “Mikes, you know I’d love to see you but why now? September is like the most fuckin useless and random month.”

“Gerard, I’m still in high school do I really need a proper excuse for needing to get away?”

“I suppose not, but you’re barely into senior year so you should be feeling at least a little excitement over that still.”

The groan Gerard had gotten in response told him that no, Mikey did not have any senior year excitement. 

Gerard had given in soon after that, knowing that this visit probably had less to do with actual high school than it did with Mikey’s best friend/ mega crush/ summer fling Pete Wentz. Pete and Mikey had known each other since elementary school, and Mikey had developed a crush on him in middle school but shortly after Mikey even realized this Pete had started dating Patrick, his current on-again/ off-again boyfriend. Mikey and Pete had always shamelessly flirted with each other, and when Patrick had called Pete from the camp he was working at in Washington two days into summer vacation to tell him that he had met someone named Bob and that it was over Pete had gone to Mikey heartbroken and Mikey had been more than happy to be Pete’s rebound. But to both Mikey and Pete’s surprise, Patrick had come home heartbroken over Bob, who had claimed he couldn’t handle long distance, and Pete had taken him back with open arms never even officially ending things with Mikey, though to be fair they had never officially started anything either. Pete and Patrick now even denied ever breaking up if anyone asked. 

Gerard was still pissed about the whole ordeal, for both him and Mikey seeing as Mikey had been quick to forgive Pete. Gerard knew it was complicated, that Pete did genuinely care for and maybe even love Mikey back, but that Patrick would always be his first love and therefore his first priority, and Gerard knew far too well how powerful something like that could be. Just look at what it was doing to Mikey.

So Gerard was ready to welcome Mikey to a killer weekend in the city, prepared to aggressively talk about the Pete situation or aggressively not talk about the Pete situation.

He was currently standing at the train station, waiting for Mikey with a cup of coffee in his hand, knowing it would be the first thing he wanted after a long ride on the train. Finally, he saw his lanky younger brother walking towards him, wearing his beloved skinny jeans and much needed glasses. Gerard was surprised to see him holding no extra bags, his only luggage being a backpack. Though it was clearly packed to the point of bursting, Gerard was still stunned that his hair products alone were able to fit in there.

“Hey Mikes,” Gerard greeted, whilst pulling him into a one arm hug. Usually, he’d be squeezing him tightly with affection and enthusiasm that would cause Mikey dismay, but due to the hot coffee and previously mentioned sensitive circumstances he decided to cut him a break. 

“Hey asshole,” Mikey replied, but probably only to distract from the fact that he was actually hugging Gerard back, and though it took all his will power not to, Gerard didn’t make a huge deal about it.

“Here,” Gerard said, handing Mikey the coffee, “Let’s head to my apartment.” 

Mikey took the coffee and gave Gerard a small grateful smile. Gerard could sense the relief Mikey was feeling finally being physically separated from the Pete situation, and he grabbed Mikey’s hand as he started walking down the street. Instead of pulling away as Gerard had expected, Mikey simply squeezed his hand and continued holding on, and Gerard knew it was gonna be a good weekend for them both and a much needed mini-vacation for Mikey.


	3. Chapter 3

“Wait, wait,” Mikey said in between giggles. Gerard, being the cool older brother he is, had given him a few beers while having a few himself, and though neither of them were drunk they were both comfortably buzzed. “So you didn’t give him your number? What the fuck, Gee? C’mon, man.”

Gerard rolled his eyes and shook his head, but remained smiling. “Mikey, it’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is!” Mikey replied light-heartedly, “You’re the one making it complicated.” He nodded at this, as if he was agreeing with himself. 

Gerard chuckled, well really giggled, “Alright, if he comes back in that’ll be enough proof of his interest in me, and then I’ll leave my number.”

“Good,” Mikey said, taking a sip of his beer and then pausing in thought. “What were we talking about again?”

Gerard laughed, he normally didn’t talk to Mikey about his own possible love interests simply because of Mikey’s unrelenting insistence that Gerard make a move. But Mikey had ended up spilling what must have been all the feelings and thoughts he had since Gerard last saw him. Which had been good for Mikey, but unusual and probably uncomfortable, so Gerard had jumped at the simple subject of his current “coffee crush” (which is what it was called when an employee got interested in a regular at a café, or so Gerard had been told) for the easy conversation it would bring. 

“Okay, come on Mikes, time for bed,” Gerard said, pushing himself off the kitchen floor where they had decided to sit for whatever reason.

Mikey shook his head, “No thanks”

“Wasn’t a request Mikey.”

“But why? There’s no school tomorrow.”

“Yeah but if you actually wanna succeed in getting me out of the apartment then we both need sleep, now come on.” Gerard held out his hand to help Mikey up, who grabbed it without making anymore fuss. 

When Mikey was nice and settled in Gerard’s bed, Gerard walked towards the bedroom door with intentions of sleeping on the living room couch. 

“Gee,” He heard Mikey say behind him, causing him to stop and turn around. The look Mikey gave him told him everything. 

Gerard slid into bed next to him, and waited for Mikey to latch on before wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. They had done this a lot as kids, when Gerard had been too scared to actually sleep on the top bunk. Once they were teenagers and Gerard moved down to the basement their parents had assumed those days were behind them, and they had been for a while. But when Gerard had been torn up over his first break up, Mikey had snuck down to his room and wordlessly got in Gerard’s bed, letting him cry and hold on to him throughout the night. After that, whenever one of the brothers was feeling sad, scared, anxious, or just needed the other they would cling to each other for comfort in an unspoken agreement. They’d also do it on Christmas Eve because Christmas Eve was a time for family, dammit. 

“Goodnight, Gee,” he heard Mikey whisper. 

Gerard tightened his hold on him just a little bit, his own heart hurting for his brother. He knew how badly Mikey wanted high school to just be over already, and how far away it seemed to him. “I’m glad you’re here Mikey. Now get to sleep.” 

 

The next morning, Gerard woke to the sound of his ringtone. If he had known that it was just a phone call he would’ve let it go to voicemail, but he thought that maybe he had forgotten to turn off his alarm for work and reached to grab the phone off his bedside table.

Once he registered it was a phone call it was too late to simply ignore it and go back to bed, so he took the call and held the phone to his ear, “Hello?”

“Gerard!” Jaret, his boss, said, “I need you to come in.”

“Fuck no,” Gerard replied, his boss was the kind you could curse and be casual around, and while Gerard usually tried to be professional around him simply out of habit in dealing with authority he was too tired (and now too pissed) to care. “I never take even a shift off, I’ve never called in sick, and I told you two weeks in advance with constant reminders that I needed this weekend off.”

“I know, I know man,” Jaret replied, starting to sound a bit desperate, “But everyone took this weekend off for some local band fest or something, and no one else is answering their phone right now. Maddie was supposed to work this morning, but she had to go out of town for some family emergency thing and she told me that she had gotten a cover but it’s actually the newbie Morgan and she just called me in total panic over this Saturday rush that’s there and she needs help Gerard. Please, I’ll pay you time and a half for today.”

Gerard bit his lip, contemplating. “You really need to hire more people Jaret.”

“I fuckin’ got it, alright? So will you come in?”

“Okay…” Gerard said, reluctantly, “But I get to keep my phone on me and I have the right to answer it during the shift today.”

“Gerard, I don’t know about that. The customers-“

“Will have to get over themselves because my brother is staying with me right now, and while he’s not 5 or anything he is still relatively new to the city and a bit of an idiot sometimes.” Gerard glanced over worriedly at Mikey, only remembering his presence after saying that, and silently prayed a thank you that his brother was such a deep sleeper.

“Okay, okay fine.” Jaret replied. “Thank you so much man. You can leave at 1:30.”

“Alright Jaret, but I’m leaving whether or not anyone even shows up when the shift’s over.” 

“I got it, I got it.”

“Time and a half, Jaret!”

“Not if you don’t get your ass over there, now good bye Gerard!”

 

Gerard felt guilty about leaving Mikey alone in the apartment, but he had left a note and texted his phone (figuring he’d check that first anyway) explaining the situation, and left him money to order food, and had written his warning to not leave the apartment because it would give Mom a heart attack if she found out and he swore to God that he would be shipping him back to Jersey if he caught Mikey doing something so stupid in all capital letters. What else could Gerard had done in this situation? 

Currently, Gerard was turning towards the drop off counter to announce that yet another pumpkin spice latte was ready when his hazel eyes met with those of an all too familiar brown pair. 

Frank smiled at him, “Hi,” he said. 

Gerard smiled back, “Hey, oh uh,” he held out the drink a little, “Is this your’s?”

Frank nodded and reached over to take it from Gerard’s hands. “I like this,” he said as his fingers brushed over Gerard’s black sharpied nails. 

Gerard blushed, “Thanks, uh, I just got bored and I used to have the time to actually paint them black and old habits die hard right?” He gave Frank a small smile, hoping he’d smile back as usual. 

Frank just nodded, a bit distracted, “Yeah, uh, you weren’t here yesterday?”

Gerard blinked, a little caught off guard and also confused on just how to answer. “Yeah, well I actually had the morning shift. I wasn’t supposed to work this weekend, my brother’s in town and stuff. I’m only here now by happenstance.”

“Oh, okay,” Frank said, finally giving a shy smile, “Can I maybe get your number? So I can just text you instead of just hoping if I come in at any random time I’ll find you.” 

Gerard somehow managed not to squeal, though he found it alarmingly difficult. “Yes, of course, just let me get a-“ 

“Gerard!” Morgan whined, “The drinks!” 

“Aw, shit,” Gerard muttered, seeing the line of people. He wouldn’t be getting any kind of break for a while. “Fuck Frank, I’m really sorry but I have literally no time. Just come by on Monday, alright? I’ll be here all day Monday.” He said this all astonishingly fast, before whisking away and busying himself with the orders, trying to get them done quickly. Despite his efforts, it was a good 40 minutes before Gerard even had a moment to scan the café area and see if Frank was still there. Of course though, he wasn’t.

Gerard wasn’t dismayed though, Frank had come in looking for him and had even noticed his absence yesterday. And while he hadn’t actually gotten confirmation from Frank about stopping by on Monday he was still confident that he would come. At the end of his shift, Gerard found himself very happy at having to come in unexpectedly, no matter how mad Mikey would be at him when he arrived home.


	4. Chapter 4

“No, Mikey. Mikey, no!”

“Come on, Gee! You totally owe me one.”

Gerard gave his brother a disbelieving look, “Um, who does this apartment belong to again?”

“Okay, yeah whatever, but who was in this apartment all by himself this morning because someone’s a workaholic?”

Gerard sighed, “First of all, I’m not a workaholic. And second, no.” But Gerard knew he was caught. Mikey had somehow found out about the local band festival Jaret had mentioned to Gerard on the phone (that wasn’t so much an actual festival but more of just a grouping of random events) and was now insisting that he and Gerard headed out to one of the venues to see a few of the sets. 

“Gerard this is the kind of thing you love, why not?” Mikey asked. 

“Mikey, seriously, you know why. And it was busy at work this morning, so I’m already drained out in the social department.” Gerard had been having trouble lately going out and being in crowds and dealing with people in general. Mikey knew he was the only one he kept in touch with from Jersey, and that Gerard hadn’t been really keeping up with anyone at his art school either. It was partly why Gerard had gotten a job, to teach himself how to act normal around all kinds of strangers no matter how he was feeling. It was working, but it could be agonizing. 

But now Mikey was pleading, “Please, Gee? It’ll be fun, and it’ll be easier than you think, I promise.”

“Fine, whatever, we’ll go.” Gerard finally gave in, knowing he wouldn’t be able to deny Mikey much longer anyway. 

 

That night, Gerard had pulled out his old favorite pair of black skinny jeans, a Ramones shirt, black boots, and even some smudgy eyeliner, topping it all off with a denim jacket. He had forgotten how good he felt in this kind of outfit, how much he felt like himself. 

Mikey was walking down the street beside him in a similar outfit, and they were discussing possible plans for Mikey next year. 

“Gee, when are you gonna get that comic published?”

“What?” Gerard asked, surprised. He hadn’t told anyone about the comic he was drawing out, it had kind of been his secret obsession since mid-August. “Mikey did you go through my stuff?”

Mikey didn’t say anything, but before Gerard had a chance to question him again they arrived at the venue. There was already a band playing, and conversation was made impossible.

After a moment of scanning over the crowd, Gerard turned to look at Mikey, who was already shooting him with a questioning look. After a pause, Gerard nodded, and the two of them went down to join the crowd. 

It was insanely fun as they both lost themselves in the music and the people, grabbing on to each other’s wrists when they got too close to possibly being separated. By the time the first set was finished, they had somehow ended up in the front of the crowd, and were both a little breathless. 

“Woah,” Gerard said, his voice already a little blown out from the shouting. 

Mikey gave him a smug look, “Told ya.” 

It wasn’t that long before the next band started taking the stage, and it took Gerard a moment for his brain to register what he was seeing. “Oh my fuck, Mikey!”

“What the hell did you just say?” Mikey asked, giving him a judgmental look. 

“That’s him!”

“What? Who’s him?” Mikey asked, confused, but turned to look in the direction Gerard was. 

“That’s the dude from Starbucks!” Gerard exclaimed, pointing to Frank who was currently focused on tuning his guitar. He was wearing tight black jeans with holes in the knees, red converse, and a tight white shirt that read “Meat is Murder.”

“No shit?” Mikey asked, looking Frank up and down, “Well, damn.”

Before either of them could say anything else, Frank was grabbing the mic, “What the fuck is up?!” He shouted into it, which was met with enthusiastic cheers. “We are Pencey Prep and we are here to rock the fuck out!” and with that, they launched into a killer set. 

They were good, really good. And while Gerard was having just as much of a wild time as he had been before, he was no longer getting swept up in the crowd, but instead kept his eyes on Frank as he focused on the music. Frank was getting so into his own music, and it was alarmingly sexy. He kept jumping, and shouting, and running out of breath, and it was so hot the way his shirt was clinging to him now due to the amount he was sweating. 

Frank’s eyes finally met with Gerard’s as some instrumental part started during one of the songs. And all at once Frank’s hands were off his guitar, and he was suddenly kneeling in front of Gerard, holding his face in his hands. Gerard was frozen, his mouth gaping, and Frank gave him a smile and said “Hope you don’t mind,” before pressing his open mouth against Gerard’s. People were going crazy around them, but Gerard didn’t hear as he tangled his hands in Frank’s hair and closed his eyes, shoving his tongue against Frank’s in what was probably the messiest kiss Gerard had ever experienced. 

It felt like it had been 5 seconds when Frank started pulling away, but it had probably been more like 30. And after giving him a wink, Frank just went right back into the set. 

Gerard turned towards Mikey, who was staring at him with a very “what the fuck” look on his face. Gerard shrugged his shoulders to communicate that he didn’t know either, but then smiled. Mikey just shook his head and looked back up at Frank, leaving Gerard to do the same with the stupid grin still on his face. 

After the set, Mikey and Gerard wove their way to the back where the bar was. “Had fun, Gerard?” Mikey asked.

“Oh, shut up,” Gerard replied, that stupid smile still on his face. 

“Yeah, cool.” Mikey said, glancing towards the bar, “I really wanna get buzzed again. You want to head home?” 

Gerard nodded, unable to buy drinks for Mikey and himself here since he wouldn’t be turning 21 until the next April. They were about to start walking out, when Gerard felt someone grab his arm and turn him around. 

“Hey,” Frank said, smiling. 

Gerard smiled back before turning his head to look at Mikey, who gave him a small nod before turning around and heading towards the bar to wait. Gerard turned back to Frank, “Hi. And also wow, you were awesome.”

Frank gave him a mischievous look, “At playing or at kissing?”

Gerard laughed, a little nervously, and could feel himself starting to blush yet again, “Both, I guess.”

Frank also laughed a little, “Well thank you. Hey, can I buy you a drink?”

Gerard shook his head, “I’d love to but I was actually heading home with Mikey”

Frank’s expression dropped a bit, “Mikey?”

Gerard nodded, “Mikey, my younger brother who’s staying with me this weekend.”

There was a slight pause before Frank smiled again and said, “Oh, yeah. Mikey, your brother.” Gerard giggled, and Frank stated to blush as well. “So, Starbucks on Monday?”

Gerard nodded again, “I’ll be there,” he said as he turned around, and as he walked away to get Mikey added, “Good night Frankie!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness, I just have to share that my sister totally caught me writing this but all she saw was Gerard's name and just assumed it was a fanfiction about me and him and keeps teasing me about it but I don't know if I should even tell her the truth because I honestly can't decide which is less embarassing

After walking halfway back to the apartment in silence Gerard finally asked, “So who was he?”

Mikey began chewing on his lip, deep in thought. Gerard waited for him to start talking instead of urging him again. He had found Mikey at the bar, talking to some strawberry blonde guy, obviously enjoying the conversation. The dude had a beard and a lip ring, he was dressed in all black and while not particularly tall he was broad shouldered and solid looking.

“His name is Bob,” Mikey finally said. 

“Bob? As in like the Bob?”

Mikey shrugged, “I wouldn’t know but I seriously doubt it, I mean Patrick met that guy in Washington.” 

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. So, do you like him?”

Mikey didn’t respond, but Gerard could see the small smile that he tried to hide.

“You do! Oh my gosh, did you get his number?” 

Mikey shook his head, “No, but he’s gonna look for me on facebook and twitter and stuff.” 

“Mikey that’s awesome. I’m happy to see you so happy.”

“Thanks bro,” Mikey said, and then after a slight pause, “Um, can you do me a favor though?”

Gerard’s eyebrows shot up, “Uh, yeah. What’s up?”

It was about a minute before Mikey blurted, “Can we get black hair dye and do my hair? Like tonight? At your apartment?”

Gerard blinked, “Um.”

Mikey sighed, “I’ve been wanting to dye my hair for a while, I swear I have, and Bob mentioned tonight he really likes the look of black hair and before I could even think I just said ‘Wow that sure is crazy ‘cause I’m actually dying mine tonight,’ and then I agreed to send him a picture when he friended me on facebook and yeah. I know it was stupid, that I’m stupid, but please?”

Gerard wanted to say no, because he knew that his mom would kill him, and the dye would get everywhere, and that he would get dragged in somehow, and Mikey really was being an idiot. But Gerard really did want Mikey to move on from Pete, and if Bob could make that possible Gerard would do everything he could to make it happen. “Sure,” he said finally, and the look of relief, gratitude, and excitement Mikey gave him was worth all the headaches this would give Gerard. 

 

“I can’t believe you made me go first, you’re such a fuckin’ pussy.” Gerard said, as he studied himself in the mirror and wiped some dye off his neck before it stained. 

Mikey stood behind him, reapplying shampoo to Gerard’s skin to keep any stray dye from staining it if it landed there. “I know, I know, I owe you like a thousand favors.”

Gerard stared at his dye-covered hair in the mirror a little longer before sighing and turning around. “I really liked my red hair.”

Mikey’s desperate expression turned into a guilty one, “I know, and I’m sorry.”

Gerard shook his head, “No, it’s fine. We gotta make sure you’ll look hot, especially when you’re getting that eye surgery soon. New you, right?”

Mikey smiled at that, “Yeah. A new me.” 

Once Gerard’s hair was done, and it was confirmed that the dye actually worked (and wow, Gerard actually liked black better with his at home haircut) they started on Mikey’s, whose hair was a virgin when it came to dye. It was mostly Gerard applying the dye to his hair, seeing as Mikey had to take off his glasses and was now too blind to be trusted with anything permanent. “I can’t believe Mom never put anything in your hair, I was her mother fucking guinea pig.”

Mikey smiled, “Oh, you don’t even know how anal I can be about my hair.”

“Uh, excuse me who has the black hair right now?”

Mikey chuckled, “Oh yeah, right. Sorry.”

Gerard loosened up and his voice was less harsh when he said, “It’s alright.”

 

It turned out that Mikey, unlike Gerard, was actually good at cutting his own hair and creating a new style. So the next day as they stood at the train station Mikey’s newly dyed hair was now pushed back and up a little as opposed to intricately falling over his face as it was before. Mikey had been worried at first, since he got freaked out and washed the dye out of his hair too soon, causing it to be dark brown instead of black, but he actually liked it. “And you know what, Gee? I don’t care if anyone else likes it or not.” He had said, which made Gerard want to weep with joy for his brother. 

When they saw Mikey’s train pull in, Gerard grabbed his shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes, “Will you be okay? Seriously, it’s okay if you need to stay.”

Mikey just nodded, “Yeah,” he said and then added, “I don’t know, but like, I think this weekend was exactly what I needed.”

Gerard nodded, and then pulled him in a tight hug. Once it was over, Mikey simply said, “I’ll see you at Thanksgiving,” and started walking towards his train. 

Right before he got on Gerard shouted, “I love you, Mikes!”

Mikey just turned and waved in response, which was good enough for Gerard. 

 

It was two in the afternoon and Gerard had never been more grateful for it to be slow at work. He had woken up late that morning and rushed through getting ready, barely even remembering the process due to still being half asleep during the time. It had worked out alright, he was wearing a normal outfit and nothing was backwards or inside out. He hadn’t brushed his hair, but it looked edgier that way and he had gotten his teeth which were the important part. The only mishap that had occurred was his belt. Somehow, a cheetah print belt he had bought for the few occasions he dressed in drag had ended up in his pile of regular belts, instead of his box of drag clothes and accessories. It wasn’t until he got to work he even noticed, and despite his best efforts to stretch out his t-shirt enough to pull it down over the belt, it just wasn’t happening. So he admitted defeat, because he kind of like the belt anyway. 

Gerard sat down on a stool he had brought out from the back, he was by himself and working all day so he figured it’d be okay to sit while it was slow. He put his head down on the counter and closed his eyes, after once again confirming that the café and immediate area around it was empty of possible patrons. He began to wonder if Mikey had friended Bob on facebook, if they continued talking, if Bob liked Mikey’s hair, if they had exchanged numbers, and why in the world wasn’t Mikey constantly texting him to keep him updated. 

He had an urge to go check his phone, but decided his break was better spent resting his eyes and feet. His neck was starting to cramp from the awkward position of half his body laying down when he heard, “Dude, I’m having trouble figuring out what signals you’re trying to send with the combination of the black hair and leopard belt.”

Gerard sat straight up in surprise, the familiar anxiety of getting caught doing something you aren’t supposed to flowing through him. But once he realized it was just Frank he relaxed a bit and smiled, “Hey.”

Frank smiled back, “Hey.”

Gerard looked around again, seeing it was just as empty as before (excluding Frank) and looked back up at Frank. He propped his elbow on the counter, and leaned forward resting his head in his hand, “So, your band, Pencey Prep? Tell me about them.” 

So Frank started talking, explaining how he loved playing music and how he had a job at a record store where, lucky for him, the owner was a fan and didn’t mind Frank’s availability sometimes being sporadic due to gigs, touring, and recording. “We got the name for the band from _Catcher in the Rye_ , it’s the school Holden is attending in the beginning of it.”

Gerard made a face at that, “It’s creative and clever, but I hated that book.”

“Oh man,” Frank said, “Please don’t tell me you were one of those kids.”

“What kids?”

“The ones who hate every book in class simply because they have to not only read it but also actually comprehend it and understand the symbolism and shit.”

Gerard shook his head, “No, I see the value in it, and I get that the reason I dislike Holden so much is because he represents the aspects I don’t like about me, or whatever. Thing is though, it’s all the adults who say it’s this big ‘coming of age novel,’ right? And I think the reason is ‘cause they see Holden as they see anyone younger than them, as some privileged kid who can be kind of an ass and has no solid reason for being sad and is just irritating everyone around him in hopes of someone who will listen to his selfish concerns. I think they describe it as coming of age and tie us all to Holden so much just to hide the fact they think we’re all just whiny, which I find incredibly uncool and unfair and leads to the book getting totally over-romanticized.”

“Woah,” Frank said, “I never thought of it that way, but I don’t think you should blame the book for all that, ya know?” 

Gerard chewed his lip for a few seconds and then said, “I guess, but someone has to hate it and actually have a reason for doing so, and I’ve taken on that responsibility for far too long to let it go now.”

Frank laughed at that, “You are something else,” and before Gerard even had a chance to reply, “So what do you do?”

Just as Gerard opened his mouth to explain his current situation in life, a rather large family came in through the side door and Gerard gave Frank an apologetic smile after surveying them. “For now, I just need to know if I can get you anything.”

Frank looked disappointed, but still put on a smile for Gerard. “Yeah, just a black coffee today.”

Gerard knew he took too long getting Frank his coffee, but he couldn’t resist writing Frankie carefully in big, loopy letters and dotting the “i” with a heart again. He also took his time when writing out his number, and drew a tiny picture of a phone with the words “call me” in pen on the lid as well.


	6. Chapter 6

Gerard was slumping on his couch, staring at the clock that read 10:42. After Frank had left, the shift had gone to total shit. When it was one impatient customer, one unreasonable mom, one group of rude pre-teens per shift it was fine, an annoyance at most. But when it was multiples of each, all coming in a steady and angry flow, all mixed with Gerard being tired and slowly getting more and more emotional it was just too much. 

Gerard rubbed his eyes, he had called Mikey on his walk back to his apartment. Twice. Mikey hadn’t even texted him, and now wasn’t answering Gerard. Gerard felt very alone, he missed Mikey’s presence and he didn’t even have textual communication to distract him from that. Gerard knew Mikey wasn’t ignoring him, not on purpose anyway. But he still couldn’t fight off the anxiety that began to travel through his body. 

Gerard wanted to sleep. He wasn’t all that tired, but he craved the nothingness and sudden pass of time. He got up from the couch and went to the cupboard where he stored his ample supply of medicine. He pulled out the melatonin, taking a little over the recommended dosage because he took it too much in high school and his body had built up a slight immunity to it.

Gerard collapsed down on his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes or brush his teeth or eat or anything. He closed his eyes, and waited for the mixture of the medicine and the fatigue to lull him to sleep. 

 

It hadn’t even been an hour when Gerard was awoken by his phone, but he had been in such a light sleep that there was no point in ignoring the call. 

“Hello?” He asked, not recognizing the number and feeling a bit groggy. 

After a few seconds of silence, “Shit, you were asleep weren’t you?”

“Frankie?” Gerard asked, vaguely recognizing his voice. 

“I’m such a fuckin’ idiot, I mean I just got off work not that long ago so I figured you did too, but you work all day and every day so of course you would fuckin’ go to bed early.”

“Frankie,” Gerard interrupted, “Its fine.”

There was another pause, and then a sigh, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, normally I’d still be up.”

“So why aren’t you? Another morning shift tomorrow?”

Gerard bit his lip, “Well, no.” There was some hesitance in his voice. 

“You just tired then?”

“I mean, yeah.”

Yet another pause on Frank’s end, and then, “Are you okay?”

Now Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He dropped his head in his free hand and began rubbing the side of his head with his thumb. “No, not really.” 

“Talk to me,” Frank said. 

After a few seconds, “It was just a really fuckin’ bad shift, and people are so quick to make people in part time feel like their worthless. And like, I hate it, but it gets in my head. And it sucks, ‘cause like you don’t want to believe that shit but some of it is kinda true. I mean, the only thing I’m fuckin’ even decent at is things that don’t fuckin’ matter to like over half the population. I’m basically majoring in fucking comic books, God damn it.”

“That actually sounds bad ass,” Frank responded.

Despite himself, Gerard could feel himself begin to smile. 

“So what do you need?” Frank asked. 

Gerard thought for a moment, “Promise not to laugh.”

“Promise,” Frank said.

“Well, I’m feeling kind of ignored by my brother right now-“

“Mikey?”

“Yeah, Mikey. I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose, high school drama and all that. Anyway, normally I’d just brush it off but he was just here so my apartment feels more empty than usual, but mostly it’s… well… Okay, so like we do this thing every once in a while, except it’s not even a ‘thing’ it’s really just cuddling and after such a shitty shift I really just would’ve appreciated him being here, you know? Someone physically there to remind me I matter, I guess.”

After a moment of silence Frank asked, “Do you want me to come over?”

Gerard wasn’t sure what to do, he wanted to say yes and he appreciated Frank even offering but if he was being completely honestly he didn’t know Frank that well or for that long. For all Gerard knew, he could secretly be an ax murderer. To be fair, really anyone he knew could secretly be an ax murderer, but in the event Gerard was murdered he wanted it to at least look like it wasn’t because he invited strangers into his home. But then Frank said, “If you don’t mind, can I bring my dog? She’s a pug and I promise she’s not annoying, I’d just feel bad for leaving her by herself all night.” And Gerard was fucking sold. 

 

“Wait, what?” Frank asked, laughing at Gerard while sitting next to him on his bed. Gerard was holding Frank’s pug, Pancake, in his lap. 

“Oh shut up,” Gerard said, playfully pushing him and slightly disturbing Pancake’s rest for doing so. 

“No, no say it again.”

Gerard rolled his eyes, “Fucking- fine. I was in this band and I was super psyched, okay? And then I got kicked out for not being able to play Sweet Home Alabama on the guitar.”  
This launched Frank into a new laughing fit, and Gerard found it contagious even if it was slightly irritating. “Oh, man,” Frank said, “Has anyone ever told you that you have kind of tiny teeth?”

“Oh my God, you are _such_ an ass.”

Frank just laughed at this, “And yet here I am, in your home.”

“Not for much longer at this rate, though I do think Pancake will be staying with me.” 

“Yeah right, Pancake fucking loves me.” Frank said, patting her head to emphasize the point. “I guess it’s my turn to share something embarrassing now.”

“Oh, I’ve got a question,” Gerard said, a bit mischievously.

“Hey, that’s not how this circle of trust fuckin’ works,” Frank interjected.

Gerard gave him his best puppy dog eyes, “Please?”

Frank just stared back, but eventually sighed and gave up. “Fine.”

“Do you make out with random fans at every gig?”

“Okay, well first of all, you weren’t random,” Frank started, much more quickly than Gerard would have predicted, “And I used to? Not very much, only when I got really into a song and a crowd was really feeling it and goin’ wild and shit. But then someone pointed out that I don’t know any given person’s shit, you know? A lot of people probably wouldn’t be down with it. It wasn’t like I was forcing myself on anyone, they all had the ability to pull away as far as I knew, but I don’t want to be the thing that triggers anyone’s bad memories.”

Gerard just stared at Frank for a moment before leaning over and gently pressing his lips against his, who immediately started kissing him back. It was closed mouthed and slow, but it was perfect.

Frank brought his hand up to Gerard’s face, and slipped his fingers into Gerard’s hair before pulling away just slightly and saying, “I really like the black hair, by the way.” Gerard opened his eyes to meet Frank’s and smiled, “It suits your cutie face.”

Gerard bit back a giggle and looked down, blushing when he felt Frank press a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I have to work at 8:30, you wanna get to sleep?”

“Yeah sure,” Gerard said, gently pushing Pancake out of his lap to get up and turn out the light. When he turned back to the bed, he saw Frank laying down with the city lights flowing in through the window. Pancake the pug had resettled at the foot of the bed. 

Gerard slipped in under the covers, and Frank immediately started pulling him closer. “Hey,” he whispered into Gerard’s hair.

Gerard smiled, “Hi,” he whispered back, and then nuzzled his face into Frank’s neck, giving it a kiss before closing his eyes.

He felt Frank’s hold tighten slightly around him, before he intertwined their legs. “Night, Gee.”

Gerard hummed a bit, “Good night, Frankie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it was only one chapter instead of two today, i had a bit of a run in with a dog in the neighborhood and i'm fine, the dog's fine, and it was no one's fault it just threw me for a loop (I was already uneasy around dogs) but i got a gerard way tank at hot topic so it was still a stellar day :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter oops sorry haha but whatever it's a cute one (i hope)

Gerard was once again woken by his phone, and he reached over to ignore the call but answered once he saw the caller I.D.

“Mikey? Why are you calling so early? Are you alright?”

“Gee!” Mikey said excitedly, Gerard already beginning to relax at the happy tone his voice had, “He loved the hair, and we have like all the same interests and-“

“Woah, woah,” Gerard interrupted, “Are we talking about that Bob guy? And why didn’t you call me back last night?”

“Yes, we’re talking about Bob. And yeah, I’m sorry, but I planned on calling you after I stopped talking to Bob, which actually is what I’m doing.”

It took Gerard a moment to register what he just heard, “Wait, Mikey, did you ever go to bed last night?” 

All Gerard got in response was giggle, which was already out of character for Mikey but even more so because it was higher pitched than usual.

“Fuck Mikey, it’s only Tuesday. How do you plan on lasting this week?”

“I dunno, but Gerard, Gee, Gee,” _Aw Christ_ , Gerard thought, _He’s already lost his personal boundaries_ , “I think it’s the same Bob.”

“Well I would hope so Mikey, I’d be really fuckin’ pissed if you called me this early about some random Bob that I wasn’t basically forced to change my hair color for.”

“Hey, I like the hair,” Frank suddenly voiced, making Gerard jump. He had momentarily forgotten about his presence, and hadn’t even known he was awake.

“Gerard? Is someone there?” Mikey asked.

Gerard just blinked at Frank before replying, “No, no one’s here. Sorry, what were you saying?” Frank just raised his eyebrows before Gerard pressed a finger to his lips indicating for Frank to stay silent. 

“Yeah so anyway, when I friended Bob on facebook I saw we were mutual friends with Patrick.”

“Oh,” Gerard responded, tensing slightly because currently Frank was wrapping his arms around Gerard’s waist, pulling him closer and smiling teasingly. “That certainly is peculiar.”

“Yeah, and then at some point last night I got a text from Pete that was all question marks and I haven’t responded yet. He knows I met a boy, and that I changed my hair for him, but I haven’t told him anything else about Bob. So I’m thinking maybe he or Patrick saw that Bob and I became friends.”

Frank had started kissing Gerard’s neck, occasionally sucking and nibbling. “Mmmm- mhm.” Gerard got out, “Uh, hey listen Mikey, I gotta go.”

“But Gerard, I have 20 minutes before class-“

Frank tugged down on Gerard’s t-shirt and bit his collar bone, “Ye-AH, OKAY, bye Mikey, love you!” And with that he hung up, and threw the phone behind him before rolling on top of Frank and started the most heated make out session he’d ever been in.

 

When they had finally pulled apart, both breathless and flushed like a pair of teenagers, Frank glanced at the clock. “Shit, shit, shit,” he exclaimed, “I’m gonna be late!” 

He was struggling with getting his shoes on quickly before glancing at Gerard, “Do you work today?”

Gerard nodded, “But not till 4,” he added.

“Okay, uh, I get off a 1. Wanna meet up for a late lunch?” 

“Yeah, totally,” Gerard agreed, and then nervously, “As like a date?”

Frank smiled and then leaned over to kiss the corner of Gerard’s mouth, “Of course like a date, you idiot.” But then added with a concerned look, “If you want it to be, that is.”

“Yes, please,” Gerard said with an enthusiastic voice.

Frank smiled again, then glanced over at the still sleeping Pancake, then back at Gerard, “Would you mind watching her for the morning? I’m real sorry, it’s just that it’ll take so much time to take her back to my apartment and-“

Gerard cut him off with a kiss. “I’d be happy to,” he said

Frank smiled at him. “Okay,” and then gave Gerard one last kiss before standing up and shouting “I’ll text you!” behind him as he began walking out of the apartment.

Gerard giggle and shouted back his response, “I’ll text you back!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some shit starts getting sorted out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a pretty good idea of how I want this to pan out now, just in time to go out of town :) so no update for a few days cause i'll be visiting some friends and there's literally no room for my laptop (i'd also probz be too cold to write tbh there will be SNOW there, SNOW)

Frank did enjoy his job at the record store, it perfectly fit in with both his style and schedule, after all. If he could change anything, it would be to work by himself more often. Rarely was having two people absolutely necessary, and while Frank enjoyed almost all his coworkers the long hours often consisted of various stretches of silence, and they weren’t always comfortable. 

But Frank learned to live with it, because while shifts could sometimes be awkward they were never unbearable. Frank knew his life could easily be much less pleasant when it came to minimum wage work. 

Today, he was working with Bert, who took a lot of smoke breaks and wore sunglasses in doors, but had a music taste similar to Frank’s so was pretty cool. 

“Morning sunshine!” He called at Frank’s arrival. 

“Morning,” Frank mumbled as he walked to the back to clock in. 

“Why so tired man? Did you see that boy you were talking about yesterday?” Bert asked him when he had walked back to the front. 

Frank smiled, “Yeah, I did.”

Bert laughed, “Oh, so that’s why you’re so tired.”

“It’s not like that-“

“Sure, whatever it’s not my business. What’d you say his name was again?”

“Gerard,” Frank said, not bothering to correct Bert again on his false assumption of Frank’s sex life. 

Bert blinked, then smiled, “Woah man, that name brings back memories.”

Frank’s eyebrows shot up, “What?”

“I used to date a guy named Gerard,” Bert shrugged, “He was kind of a twink, but man he was wild.” He then reached for his jacket and before Frank could think of what he wanted to say in response said, “I need a smoke,” and walked out. 

 

Gerard smiled when he spotted Frank from down the street, who was sitting in a table outside the vegan bistro studying a menu. When Frank said on the phone earlier that he wanted to try this place out Gerard had been slightly worried, he enjoyed occasionally trying new things but was scared for a moment that Frank was one of those vegans who did their best to turn everyone around them vegan and while Gerard had no problem with veganism itself, he did have problems with people who were what he called “aggressively vegan.” The same went with “aggressive Christians,” “aggressive sports fans,” “aggressive listeners of classic rock,” etc.

“So,” Gerard had said, trying to sound casual, “I didn’t know you were vegan?”

“Nah, just thought it’d be cool to try something different.” Frank had responded. “I am a vegetarian, I don’t care if you aren’t though.”

And all at once Gerard had felt simultaneously stupid for going through this whole freak out in his head about veganism, and a happy state of disbelief because wow Frank was so perfect. 

“Hi,” Gerard said as he sat across Frank, pulling a bit of the leash he had attached to Pancake into his lap to shorten the leash slightly. 

“Hi,” Frank said, looking up at Gerard and pushing his cup of coffee towards him.

Gerard smiled in gratitude. “How was work?” he asked whilst bringing the cup to his lips. 

“Oh, fine,” Frank said, and then, “Hey, did you ever date anyone named Bert?”

Gerard choked on his coffee, coughing into the drink and spilling a bit onto his face, shirt, and the table. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Frank said, grabbing napkins and leaning across the table to dab at the spillage. 

“It’s, uh, fine,” Gerard said uncertainly, still struggling slightly to not cough. 

Once Frank determined he had done as much help as he could he sat back down in his seat, looking at Gerard with an expression that was somewhat expectant but mostly guilty. 

“Yeah,” Gerard said finally, “Bert McCracken.”

Frank nodded, “I work with him.”

Gerard chewed on his lip, “I don’t know what he told you, but when I met him I hadn’t even been in New York a week and no one had ever showed an interest in me before. So, basically I was kind of more than willing to try anything with anybody and he was more than willing to be somebody to show me everything.”

“Okay, um, I’m not being judgmental but just, I know Bert, and I didn’t think you were into his scene?”

“I’m not anymore,” Gerard said, “The fun any of the drugs brought got old real fast, and I could tell pretty early on that the alcohol could become a pretty bad problem so I did a 180 and got out of there.” 

Frank began to smile, but then Gerard gave him a look.

“Listen, I’m not mad or anything but I wouldn’t normally share stuff like that on a first date, but you brought it up so I’m just gonna keep going okay?”

Frank just stayed silent, nodding after momentarily staring back at Gerard.

“So, I know we’re young and shit, and I’m not saying we have to be really serious really fast, but I’m not looking for anything casual. I’m not really into the whole ‘what are we’ game, or starting stupid fights over simple misunderstandings. I’ve kind of sucked with relationships up to this point, and I’m kind of trying to change that. Basically, what I’m saying is that I don’t care if you do casual, but I don’t. If you asked Bert, I’m sure he’d tell you differently, as would the two guys I dated after him. But after being in what was essentially the same bad relationship three times in a row, something had to change.”

Frank thought for a moment, scratching the back of his neck, “Well you’re certainly up front.” Gerard nodded, but did not respond. “So, am I like already your boyfriend?”

Gerard’s face relaxed a bit, “If you want to be.” He reached across the table and put his hand over Frank’s, “And if you promise you’re not secretly in a gang.”

Frank laughed, turning his hand to grip Gerard’s and squeezed, “I promise, _boyfriend_.”

Gerard blushed, then looked down, “You’re not freaked out about me wanting to be serious or anything?”

Frank shook his head, “Nah, honestly I was more freaked out by the idea you were the type to party with Bert and his crew.”

A sudden breeze sent a chill through Gerard, and he lifted Frank’s warm hand to lift against his cold cheek. Gerard closed his eyes to focus on the touch, his past relationships had been all about the fall and the falling apart. But as Gerard felt the familiar bloom of something new in his life, he couldn’t help but have higher hopes for what was to come. 

 

“Mikey, I know it’s only 10:30 but if you don’t have homework that’s too important to ignore then you should really go ahead to bed.” Gerard was unlocking the door to his apartment, this being the first thing he said when he answered Mikey’s call, not even giving him the chance to say hello. 

“But Gerard,” Mikey said, not sounding even slightly fatigued.

Gerard sighed, “Fine, give me the 411 on all the drama.” He went ahead and laid down in his bed, his feet were tired and he was scared this would take a while. 

“So it is the same Bob,” Mikey said.

“Does Bob know all this?”

“Not yet.”

“Did you guys talk today?”

“Yeah we like texted all day. But anyways, Patrick is all of a sudden jealous of me. Me, Gerard! At first, Pete was all, ‘Oh this so rude, you’re so insensitive,’ but now all he’s doing is pining after Patrick, who’s hung up on Bob all over again.”

Gerard stared up at his ceiling, he wanted to tell Mikey how awesome it was that Patrick and Pete were both getting distress from this, though he felt like he should probably also give him a lecture on being nice to your friends (even if they had been dicks to you). But instead, he asked, “Is the reason you’re not telling Bob is ‘cause you’re scared he’ll either also dump you because of distance or take Patrick back because of the way Bob’s saying ‘fuck you’ to distance for you.”

There was a pause on Mikey’s end before he said, “Fuck this Gerard, I’m too damn tired.” Gerard chuckled, but then Mikey tried to change the subject, “So I saw on facebook that your relationship status has changed-“

“This is not something I will discuss with you unless when you call me before school tomorrow, and you better actually call, you can tell me you went to bed after we hung up.” Mikey let out a loud annoying groan, but Gerard could tell he was admitting defeat. “Good night, Mikes.”

“Night, Gee.” Mikey said, and then Gerard hung up. He decided to check his phone before also getting to bed early and saw he had one new message.

Frank: Breakfast tomorrow?

Gerard: No sorry, I work a double tomorrow :( 

Frank: Oh, that’s too bad. I’ll probably still have to go out and get coffee, oh and maybe a book. If only there was somewhere I could do both… if only…

Gerard: Oh my gosh, you really are such an ass

Frank: You can’t say that, I’m your BOYFRIEND!

Gerard: it’s 2 l8 4 caps lock & u know it

Frank: oh my God, you’re an effin nerd

Frank: can I call you?

Gerard: no, I need my beauty sleep!

Frank: nerd alert

Frank: I can’t believe I agreed to be your boyfriend today

Gerard: I can’t believe someone as rude as you scored someone as well rested as me

Frank: if I really am keeping you up you can just say so and I’ll leave you alone 

Gerard: you weren’t, well u were but I keep on responding cuz i like it

Frank: please don’t tell me switching from normal text to ‘I’m a preteen with my first phone’ text is a constant thing for you

Gerard: r u srs rn idek

Frank: I can’t handle this anymore, good night G

All Gerard sent in response was a picture of a sleeping otter, putting his phone down on the bedside table afterwards. He closed his eyes and started to smile as he thought about Frankie. His _boyfriend_ Frankie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone leaving comments and kudos!!! they seriously make my day, especially the comments (sorry I never respond, please don't h8 me)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I was planning on getting back to writing right away when I got home on Friday, but then I slept for 16 hours, and then the next day I was seeing some friends who were in town for a bit, and then I had to go back to work today so yeah. This chapter's a bit short, I just wanted to actually get back into the habit of writing before I missed 3 weeks on accident or something. school for me also starts back up this week, so I'll probably go to one chapter a day instead of two but I'll do my best

“Mikey.” Gerard said firmly, becoming extremely annoyed. “I really am tired, and your consistent pestering isn’t helping your case.”

Gerard and Frank had been dating for about 3 weeks now, and Mikey had been relentlessly demanding to meet him since the day they first declared themselves boyfriends. Gerard kept on refusing, on the principle that he was an adult that can make the decision of when his family would meet his significant other. He found it ironic, considering he was the one who claimed not to do casual but then avoided something that truly signified the seriousness of a relationship the way meeting family did. 

It wasn’t that Gerard didn’t have faith in Frank, he honestly didn’t know why he kept pushing Mikey off. All he knew was that his relationship with Frank was going, well… perfect. Like, astonishingly so. Frank visited Gerard during work and Gerard would write “Frnk” on his cup just so Frank could tease him about writing like a middle schooler. Gerard would do his best to make Frank’s shows, sometimes showing up late because of work. And when he realized that his showing up late resulted in him having to be in the crowd instead of backstage, and that when Frank eventually found him in the crowd he would make out with him hungrily and deeply during an instrumental or two during the set, Gerard no longer tried to get his shifts covered when they overlapped with a show. 

“Come on,” Mikey pleaded, pulling Gerard back to present time. “Let me come visit, I’ve already seen you make out with him publicly so it’s not like he’s in danger of making a stranger first impression.” 

Gerard sighed and rubbed the back of his neck in thought, knowing he couldn’t and shouldn’t avoid Mikey meeting Frank too much longer at the way things were going. “Tell you what,” he said, “When you finally define the relationship with Bob, make sure he knows you are acquainted with his ex, and also tell Patrick and Pete that you’re in a relationship with him if that’s what happens, then you can meet Frank.”

These were all things Mikey had been just as dedicated to putting off as Gerard was to him meeting Frank, and the sound of disbelief Mikey gave in response put a smirk on his face. 

But when Mikey said “Fine,” after a small pause Gerard’s smirk was quickly gone. “But I would like to point out you forcing me to not be a pussy does not distract me from the fact that you are behaving equally pussy-like”

And with that Gerard decided he had enough. “Good night Mikey,” he said as he hung up the phone and rolled over in his bed. 

 

“Hey, uh, could you take Halloween off?”

Gerard glanced up at Frank with a skeptical look as he made Frank’s frappuccino, Halloween was only a week away and Frank was perfectly aware of how difficult it was to alter his work schedule unless it involved somehow taking on even more hours. “Um, I mean I guess I can try but a lot of people probably requested off that day and I-“

“It’s my birthday that day.” Frank said, cutting Gerard off from one of his ‘I really need the money’ speeches, for which he was super grateful.

Gerard just gaped at him in surprise, “Your birthday… is on Halloween?!”

Frank smiled shyly and nodded.

“Dude, that’s so dope!” Gerard said, throwing his hand in the air in excitement, “How did you not mention that before?”

Frank laughed, “Hearing the word ‘dope’ come out of your mouth is something I never would have expected out of life, and I don’t know, there’s not really a good way to mention your birthday without sounding like a dick.”

“Well, considering you’re my boyfriend I should know you’re fucking birthday,” Gerard replied, “And also, having a Halloween birthday is pretty fuckin’ rad. Like, that’s something you should announce upon meeting.”

Frank smiled, “Yeah, it’s what inspired my first tattoo, that jack-o-lantern on my back.” Gerard nodded, blushing a bit. He remembered it so well due to his obsession with kissing and sucking on the tattoo whenever there was an opportunity. “And I’ve always wanted more October tattoos, like maybe Halloween across my knuckles.” Frank added, looking down at his hands now, picturing in his head how the word would look marked on to his body.

Gerard just bit his lip and nodded, deep in thought now, “Yeah.” He looked around the empty café and thought over how even the Barnes & Noble had been quiet for over an hour. “Listen, I know I’m not supposed to close for another 20 minutes and that you have work in the morning but do you wanna head to my place?”

Frank lifted an eyebrow but still gave a smirk, “I’ve been hoping you ask.”

Gerard nodded and gave Frank his drink before going through the steps of closing. Frank had first pestered Gerard about his work schedule and how dedicated Gerard was to a job no other person would be, but had let up after Gerard made it clear that he really did not appreciate the comments. He could still sense Frank’s disapproval whenever Gerard would refuse to go out late or cut a lunch date short, but Gerard’s life was Gerard’s life and he wasn’t going to change it just because some pretty boy wanted him to.

When they stepped out into the cold night air Gerard slipped his hand into Frank’s back pocket, causing him to jump a little in surprise before turning to smirk at Gerard, “What’s gotten into you tonight babe?”

Gerard shrugged, and squeezed Frank’s ass a bit causing him to give out a small squeal in surprise.

When they got to Gerard’s apartment Gerard suggested Frank turn on a movie while he went to get them some water. When Gerard waked out of the kitchen Frank was already watching a horror movie on the couch, relaxed and sprawled out. 

Gerard set the glasses on the side table, and Frank looked up at him smiling. “Hey babe-“ he was cut off by Gerard suddenly collapsing into his lap and grabbing his shoulders before colliding their faces and lips together. 

Gerard took advantage of Frank’s surprise by thrusting his tongue into Frank’s already open mouth and running it over his teeth before pushing it against his tongue. 

Frank moaned and squeezed Gerard’s hips before pulling back slightly, giving a small breathless laugh as Gerard desperately tangled his hands into his hair, “Gee, honey, what’s up? I’m not complaining, you’re just not usually the one to be this spontaneous.” 

Gerard averted his gaze, suddenly self-conscience, “It’s just, well. I don’t know. You’re just the first person I’ve met up here in New York that I’ve become friends with that wasn’t just taking advantage of me. And I mean, I think you’re pretty fucking amazing and I don’t know. I just can’t believe I somehow ended up with you.” 

“Oh baby,” Frank said smiling, and began pressing wet kisses against Gerard’s neck.

“Mm, mmm,” Gerard moaned in response, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to allow Frank more access. 

“To be fair,” Frank whispered, his hot breath against Gerard’s neck sending shivers down his body, “I am kind of taking advantage of the Starbucks drinks.” He bit down quickly on Gerard’s neck, in a particular spot he already knew was sensitive, and began licking to soothe the skin.

“Oh, fuck you,” Gerard gasped, at both the comment and the hickey that was sure to be there in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Gerard could tell Frank was pissed. That he was beyond pissed. That all the irritation and frustration he had swallowed down for the past week for Gerard’s sake was now bubbling over. 

And Gerard had no defense, because he knew that Frank knew, and he knew that Frank knew that he knew that Frank knew. Right after Frank had asked Gerard to take Halloween off he had started working even more, and it was enough for Frank to notice and get pissed even though it had been less than a week. Then when Frank had asked him to stay over at his apartment so he could sleep in with him on his birthday and Gerard had replied with that he had work in the morning, well, it sent Frank over the edge. 

“God damn it, Gee,” He said, rather loudly in the street. He knew he was drawing attention to himself, that maybe he was being unreasonable, but he had been so pleased and this unexpected information really just pushed his buttons. When Gerard had insisted on walking Frank to his apartment instead of the other way around as usual, he hadn’t been able to stop smiling. And now here it was, the real reason, Gerard’s guilt. _Well serves him right,_ Frank thought, _let him feel the guilt._

Gerard knew the anger was coming, that Frank deserved better, but better was what he was giving him. He so badly did not want to spoil the surprise, so he made one last feeble attempt. “But Frank, you’ll be sleeping in anyways. I’ll probably be finished by the time you-“

The second Frank cut him off it was evident that this had not been the right thing to say. “Gerard we’ve been dating for, what, a month now? I ask you to do one thing, one fuckin’ thing. I try not to pressure you, I didn’t push you into details with the shit between you and Bert, I don’t pressure you to introduce me to your brother even though it’s evident he’s a fuckin’ important part of your life, and yeah I tease you about your work schedule but this is the one damn time I actually ask you to change it for me, and- and I mean- just. Fuck, Gerard! You’re the one who was all ‘oh I don’t do casual and shit’ but you’re the one who fuckin’ refuses to acknowledge our so-called relationship with even your goddamn schedule.”

It stung, it all stung. Because it was true, and even though Frank was angry and Gerard knew he wouldn’t actually say these things, even think these things in more than passing, if he wasn’t so mad. But that didn’t change the fact that they were true. Gerard wanted to tell him what was actually going on, what he was planning, and to feel the instant relief of Frank’s enthusiasm and thankfulness. But he bit his tongue. That would be selfish. 

Frank just stared at him for a while before sighing, “What the fuck ever.” He said, and with that turned around and went inside. Frank knew he had gone too far, but was too pissed still to care about apologizing. 

Gerard didn’t allow himself to send the text until he was home, and then was so scared of Frank’s reaction that he waited until he was in bed.

Gerard: I’m sorry Frankie. Please give me a chance to explain tomorrow here at 1:30

And with that he included the address to some shitty sandwich shop, and turned over to sleep before Frank even had a chance to reply. 

 

It was 1:42 when Gerard saw Frank walking towards him. Once he actually reached Gerard he raised his eyebrows and asked, “So do you actually expect me to eat here?”

Gerard bit back a smirk and shook his head. “Our real destination is a couple blocks down.” He reached out his hand for Frank to take. 

Frank hesitated before taking it, an unsure and also slightly guilty expression on his face. After walking for a bit he started talking, “Listen Gee, I-“

“No,” Gerard said, “Just wait.”

After a few minutes Gerard stopped and Frank looked at the shop they were standing in front of, surprised to find it was his favorite tattoo parlor. 

He turned to look at Gerard, who was watching him with a small smile. Before Frank could speak Gerard said, “I noticed the flyer in your bedroom. The Halloween tattoos on your knuckles sounded way too hot to let go undone.”

Frank blinked at him, “Oh my fucking God.” He then pulled Gerard to him, attempting to kiss him even though Gerard was laughing out of happiness and relief. After a moment Frank started to giggle too, “Man, I guess I really am an ass.” 

Gerard shook his head, “No, no. I just wanted it to be a surprise.” He gave Frank a quick kiss, tugging on his hand and giving Frank a teasing smile as he stepped away. “Now come one, I set an appointment and _someone_ was late.”

Frank smiled at Gerard, thanking God for his coffee addiction. 

 

As Frank was tattooed, Gerard played with his hair and explained everything to him. 

When he had realized that Halloween fell on a Thursday he figured he should just go ahead and take the whole weekend off, but he hadn’t been able to get his manager Jaret to agree to take Gerard off all his shifts, so he had had to call in some favors. He was owed quite a lot actually, but people could still be assholes and he had been forced to switch shifts which is why Gerard had been working 24/7 that past week. In the end, he found it next to impossible to find a cover that morning but figured it’d be fine considering he would still have the whole weekend with Frank.

All this was half-truth, some people were just assholes who refused to return favors, but the lack of working even one weekend stressed Gerard out so he also took so many shifts in an attempt to calm his nerves. 

“Oh and by the way,” Gerard added, “I hope you don’t mind, but my brother is coming to New York to visit his boyfriend so I said we could meet up with them for a while on Saturday.” 

Frank gave him a slightly worried look, “Are you sure?”

Gerard smiled, “Why are you so nervous?”

Frank shook his head, “I’m not nervous, I know I’m a charmer. You just seemed freaked out whenever I mentioned meeting your brother.”  
Gerard shrugged, “I guess, but I mean we’re in a serious relationship right?”

Frank just looked at him for a moment before starting to smile. “Yeah,” he said, “You’re my serious boyfriend.” 

Gerard chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Frank. 

 

Gerard groaned into Frank’s shoulder as the sound of an alarm pierced through his sleep. “Frankie,” he whined, “Phone.”

“Mhm,” Frank responded, not even opening his eyes. He stretched a little but then turned away from Gerard on the bed. “It’s your’s,” he mumbled.

Gerard groaned again, before turning towards the side table and answering his phone. “This had better be Mikey.”

“Gerard,” Mikey replied. 

“The fuck Mikey? Why are you calling so God damn early?”

“If my clock reading skills prove up to date,” Mikey deadpanned, “It’s 1 in the afternoon.”

Gerard checked the clock to confirm this, yet he felt no reason to be surprised by this. After getting Frank’s tattoo they had picked up pizza and cake and spent the rest of the day and most of Friday in Frank’s apartment. Eating, watching horror movies on Netflix, playing with Pancake, and having mad birthday sex. Friday night Pencey Prep had a show, and God was it intense. Gerard had even run out on stage a few times, screaming lyrics into the mic with Frank, and ungracefully shoving his tongue into his mouth or licking his face during any pause. 

“Yeah, yeah I see that.” Gerard said, rubbing his eyes. “I gotta shower, meet up at 2?”

Mikey hummed in approval, “All right.” And then added, “You totally spent the night with Frank didn’t you?”

Gerard bit his lip, eyes going up and down Frank’s bare chest, who had turned to watch him talk on the phone, “Noooo.” Frank laughed, trying to muffle the sound by covering his mouth with his newly tattooed hand. 

“Yeah, okay,” Mikey said, clearly not believing him. “I better see you at 2.”

“Of course, dear brother,” Gerard replied dramatically, feigning offense. 

“Ugh,” was Mikey’s only reply before he hung up the phone.

Gerard put the phone back before turning to look down at Frank, who was still laying down, from where he was sitting.

“I need to shower,” Frank finally muttered. 

“Me too,” Gerard said. 

“Too bad there’s only time for one,” Frank muttered before smirking up at Gerard.

Gerard gave him a mischievous smile in return, “What a damn shame.”


	11. Chapter 11

Mikey had been just as surprised as Frank when Gerard suddenly agreed to them meeting so easily. Sure, he had filled all the conditions Gerard had (unfairly) demanded but Mikey hadn’t actually expected for Gerard to except it so easily. 

Currently, Mikey was standing from the table that he and Bob were sitting at outside of a café to greet Gerard with a hug. Mikey wasn’t one to show affection, but he did love his brother who was one to show affection. 

Once they were all seated, Gerard’s eyes scanned over Bob. He seemed as expressionless as Mikey, yet in a different type of way. Mikey seemed like he just didn’t care, and Bob seemed more unamused. Gerard smiled at Bob, thinking that they seemed to fit well together. He also noticed the way Bob put his hand over Mikey’s that rested on his own knee. 

“Hi,” Gerard said, “Uh, so, Mikey this is Frank.” Frank gave Mikey a smile and a tiny wave. 

Mikey only nodded in response, then looked at Gerard. “And this is Bob,” he said, flicking his head towards Bob quickly. 

“Hey Bob,” Gerard said still smiling, “So yeah, uh, Frank is my-“

“I know who Frank is,” Bob said turning towards Frank. 

Frank nodded, “Yeah, you play in Toro’s band right?”

Bob nodded and Frank turned back to Gerard who was staring at him, “Bob is sick on drums.”

Gerard turned towards Bob, “Oh?”

 

The rest of the afternoon went by rather pleasantly. Gerard could tell that Mikey really liked Bob, and although he was surprised that Bob was Gerard’s age he still approved. 

It had all been casual conversation, and Gerard left really happy at seeing his brother and seeing him so happy. 

That night Gerard was kissing Frank’s neck as they lay together on the couch when Frank said, “Why aren’t you going back to school next semester?”

Gerard pulled back to look up at Frank, pouting slightly at the sudden lack of kissing. 

Frank looked back down at him, just chuckling at his expression.

Gerard sighed and then said, “Why?”

Frank shrugged, “When Mikey asked you it seemed like he expected you to say yes, but you didn’t give an explanation as to why not when you said no.

Gerard scrunched up his face in concentration, trying to remember exactly when he said that. He had a vague memory of Mikey once again asking Gerard about the comic he had found while snooping, and when Gerard avoided that question he asked about art school, and then Gerard asked Bob something before Mikey could pry even more. 

“I meant to go back after a semester but I want to save up more money. My apartment is hella expensive and I really don’t want to go back to the dorms.”

Frank began rubbing small circles on his back. “You know,” he said, “Your apartment is kind of shitty.” 

Gerard snorted, “Jeez, thanks babe. I’ll be sure to do more Pinteresting-“

“I don’t mean decoration-wise,” Frank interrupted, “It’s kinda far, it’s in a crappy part of town, it smells, and it’s small.”

“Shut up,” Gerard said. 

Frank raised his eyebrows, “You sure?”

Gerard played with Frank’s hair and shook his head, “No, go on you ass.”

Frank snorted.

“That sounded ugly.”

“You shut up,” Frank said. “Anyway, asshole, I’m trying to ask if you’ll move in with me.”

Gerard froze, “What?”

The smug look on Frank’s face disappeared and he bit his lip, “I was just thinking, like, I don’t know. Your work schedule would be a lot less annoying if you were here.”

Gerard smiled, “Yes.”

“Look, I know it’s been a month but you’re the one-“ Frank stopped as he fully comprehended Gerard’s reply. “Wait, what?”

“Yes, you ass, if you’ll finally let me work.”

Frank laughed, and tightened his arms around Gerard. “Thank God.”


	12. Chapter 12

It was February when the letter arrived.

The fall had turned into winter smoothly, and both Frank and Bob had traveled to Jersey to meet the Way family. Gerard got to meet Frank’s family while there as well, discovering that their moms were actually in a book club together. It made the situation less awkward, but somehow more embarrassing for both Frank and Gerard.

For Christmas, Bob had to go visit his own family in Chicago, and Mikey had had to stay home, but they were now discussing Mikey flying out there with Bob for spring break. Gerard stayed in the city to work through the winter holidays, and though Frank went to visit his family during Christmas they did get to spend New Year’s together. They stayed in at the newly shared (and finally clean) apartment that night. 

Right when they turned from watching the ball drop on TV to look at each other, preparing to kiss at the midnight that was only a second away, Gerard had blurted, “I love you.”

And he felt so scared when all Frank did was gape and then kiss him frantically when the cheers for the New Year flooding in from the TV registered in response. Gerard kissed back just as desperately, suddenly fearing losing him and not wanting to hear the rejection he was sure was on the tip of Frank’s tongue. If he could just kiss him forever, it wouldn’t be real, and he could show him his love this way and it’d be like he never had said the words that he was now sure would ruin their amazing relationship.

“Baby, baby,” Frank said chuckling as he tried to pull away from Gerard. “Gee, baby, let me breathe.”

Gerard stopped but just clutched on to Frank’s arm, the familiar chill of anxiety now flowing through him. 

“I love you too honey.”

It took Gerard a moment to understand the words, to fully take them in. First he felt himself breathe, and then he said, “Oh my fucking God, I was so scared, you ass!”

Frank laughed as Gerard playfully hit him in both relief and anger. “I’m sorry but you can’t just drop that on me and expect me to not kiss you!”

When Gerard finally calmed down he let himself fall into Frank’s arms, who hummed and rubbed his back. After a few moments of silence Gerard nuzzled his face deeper into 

Frank’s chest and said, “Never leave me?” He didn’t want it to come out as a command, but he certainly hadn’t intended it to be so much of a question either.

But Frank had just kissed the top of his head and said, “Promise.”

 

Gerard had picked up the mail on his way in from walking Pancake, Frank still away at band practice. 

Gerard was still working at the Barnes & Noble Starbucks, pretty much all day and every day, only requesting off when he knew a Pencey Prep show was coming up. Sometimes at seemingly random times, the only common factors in each situation being himself and Frank, Frank would go off. He would yell he was sick of Gerard constantly working, that really why was the damn minimum wage job so damn important anyway. Gerard just waited these out, having no argument. Eventually Frank would storm off and calm down, or just calm down in front of him, and apologize and then he wouldn’t bat an eye at any oddity in Gerard’s schedule for a week or two. 

But Gerard felt so guilty. Frank believed he was unreasonable and Gerard felt unable to express to him that no, Frank was right, Gerard did work too much sometimes. But he couldn’t. Because to tell Frank that he was right would be to admit that Gerard had a problem, not just to Frank but to himself. He knew his addiction to the sense of security working gave him was unhealthy and maybe even not real, but it was enough to make up for what he missed with Frank when he yelled like that. Gerard knew it wasn’t fair, but it wasn’t that he didn’t trust Frank. He couldn’t help it. The working helped with anxiety, an anxiety that came from the amount he actually did trust Frank. If anything it was actually helping the relationship, or at least that was how Gerard reasoned it. 

When he sat down on the couch with a cup of coffee Gerard started an episode of Parks and Recreation before pouring over the mail, giving the majority of his attention to the show. 

The envelope was the 3rd in a stack of 5, and was black. The return address for Portland, from the company Dark Horse Comics.

Gerard’s breathing stopped. It was addressed to him. 

But how? He hadn’t sent them anything, ever. He was just a junior in art school, who wasn’t even in school right now for that matter. The only drawings he’d done that people had actually seen was the occasional Starbucks cup. 

So how?

Gerard decided to stop thinking and just open the letter. Whatever the reason was, he most likely wouldn’t just dream it up. 

Slowly, he opened the letter. He had trouble reminding himself this was reality. He was pretty sure Pancake was staring at him, but right as he pulled out the papers and began to unfold the letter she shot up and ran towards the door, alerting Gerard that someone was there. 

“Hey Pancake,” a defeated sounding Frank said. At any other time Gerard would be doting on Frank upon hearing his voice, comforting him and urging him to explain what was wrong. Gerard couldn’t move though. His eyes were glued to the letter, reading again and again. 

“Gee?” Frank said and Gerard looked over at him, who was suddenly standing next to him. Gerard wondered how much time had passed, it seemed impossible that Frank had already walked from the door and put all his stuff away. Concern filled Frank’s gaze, “Gee, what’s wrong?”

“Frank,” he said, his voice small. “I, Frank. This letter.”

Frank looked down at the letter in Gerard’s hand, all of a sudden something clicking in his head. He quickly sat down next to Gerard and gently pulled it out of his grasp, looking over the papers himself. 

Gerard just stared at him, unsure of what to say. After a while Frank looked at Gerard with disbelief, “Gerard, this is amazing.” He pulled him into a hug, and all of a sudden Gerard had life again. He didn’t really hug Frank back as much as clung to him, shaking and beginning to gasp in shock and happiness. Frank just held him even tighter, kissing his hair and whispering “I’m so proud of you,” over and over. 

The letter stated that they were interested in what they had been sent. Gerard would be flying out to Portland to discuss a possible comic book deal on his idea for a series called _The Umbrella Academy._


	13. Chapter 13

When Frank had asked Gerard if he was afraid of flying after catching him staring out the window at the planes taking off with a look that could easily be amazement or fear, Gerard had replied no. And Frank was willing to accept that the anxiety Gerard was clearly experiencing was maybe just from a mix of what awaited them in Portland and the different processes to go through in the airport. Frank had even shaken off Gerard’s uneasiness with the window seat, and switched his own middle seat with Gerard’s without hesitance. 

But when Gerard suddenly grabbed and squeezed Frank’s hand and buried his face into his shoulder while Frank was looking out the window as the plane began to move, Frank realized he may have been overlooking some signs. 

Frank turned to Gerard and buried his face into his hair, which was not only convenient but also the only thing he could do since Gerard was now clinging to his arm. Frank could’ve sworn he felt Gerard biting into the hoodie he was wearing. 

“Are you sure you’re not afraid of flying Gee?” Frank asked, smiling slightly in amusement and care. Gerard only whimpered in response. 

Frank ignored the side glares from the lady who had the aisle seat next to them, he couldn’t tell if it was because he had closed the window, that they were gay, or that they were being what might be considered over-affectionate for public. He continued on whispering reassurances into Gerard’s hair and rubbing small circles into his hand, reflecting over the situation in his head. 

Ever since his first meeting with Mikey, Frank would occasionally catch snippets of conversation where Mikey would mention a comic book and Gerard would respond in a variety of ways. Sometimes denial, sometimes he would ignore it, sometimes he’d brush it off, and sometimes he would respond in anger and say something about “respecting privacy, for God’s sake.” They all ended without actually really talking about any kind of comic book, but when Frank had stumbled upon a purple folder and a Harry Potter sketchbook filled with draft panels, plot outlines, and multiple character profiles he instantly knew what he was looking at. 

Frank wasn’t sure if it was completely ethical or not, he knew though it was not completely honest. Frank did some research (google) and made copies one day of what he thought was the best and most important of the comic collection. He then sent them off to a handful of companies under Gerard’s name, of course keeping all of them secret. Frank had been careful to make sure he received the mail, only to discover rejections from everyone. He had decided to send off more later, but to give it a break first and see if maybe he had compiled them wrong after doing more research or something of that nature. He had forgotten Dark Horse still hadn’t sent word, and they took so long anyway it wasn’t even on his mind when he first found Gerard with the letter. 

After Gerard had calmed down from his surprise (and they had a great round of excited and celebratory sex) Frank had relayed this all to Gerard. He was embarrassed and thankful for what Frank had done, playfully chastising him for going through his things. And then Frank had said, “but babe it’s our stuff” and Gerard had, predictably, called Frank an ass and then they started making out again until, also predictably, Mikey interrupted with a phone call. 

Presently, Frank whispered “Gee baby, we’re in the air now.”

Gerard relaxed a bit and rubbed his face on Frank’s shoulder, and Frank reasoned that maybe it was supposed to be a nod. 

Frank kissed his hair one more time and then said, “I downloaded a new episode of your favorite podcast,” and Gerard shot straight up.

 

Gerard sighed in relief when he saw the empty bench as he walked outside the tall building. Frank was still on his walk, which gave Gerard time to think over what had just happened.

When he was being honest with himself, which he was actually pretty good at despite typically choosing to be over-critical instead, he had to admit the meeting went well. The people who he had met with seemed to approve of his ideas, sometimes even showing enthusiasm. Gerard had been embarrassed when he had to ask for clarification on what exactly some of the details meant, but they had been kind and actually seemed to appreciate his willingness to ask questions if anything. 

Gerard took a deep breath of cool air and looked up at the overcast sky. He liked Portland. Enough to move here? Maybe. 

But when he spotted Frank walking down the street towards him, not yet seeing him, Gerard was once again struck by just how much he loved Frank. They always seemed to make the right choices together, and Gerard realized he didn’t like anywhere enough to be there without him. 

Maybe they hadn’t known each other for all that long, and maybe that didn’t matter. Before Frank, Gerard had just wanted to be okay. But Frank made everything better than okay, and Gerard was getting a little attached to that feeling.

“How’d it go?” Frank asked with a slightly worried smile once he reached Gerard. 

Instead of replying, Gerard lifted his hand to cup Frank’s face and leaned in to kiss him. It was an innocent kiss, Frank kissing back tenderly, but it was full of passion and a need for each other danced around both their actions.

“I love you,” Gerard said after finally pulling back. 

Frank just smiled at him, “And I love you.”


	14. Chapter 14

It took only a month for Gerard to look back on that weekend in Portland with longing and a strange sense of nostalgia. 

Frank had changed. It started with every time he came home after doing anything with Pencey Prep, and Gerard would just assume he was tired. Every once in a while Gerard would smell alcohol on Frank’s breath, and then every once in a while turned into more often than not. Gerard would try to talk to Frank, to be there for him, but Frank would just brush him off. 

For all his distance, Frank still treated Gerard with only fondness and kindness. He doted on Gerard constantly, and for what felt like the first time ever accepted and even approved of Gerard’s work schedule. 

But distance was still distance, and Gerard was doing his best at giving Frank the space he claimed to need only to the cost of him feeling alone. Very alone. He attempted to communicate with Mikey more, but he was just as distracted by Bob as Gerard had been distracted by Frank.  
Gerard was happy for Mikey, honestly he was. But Gerard would be lying if he claimed to not feel at least a little excitement to hear the latest teenage drama when his phone rang unexpectedly one day to the ring tone he set for Mikey (Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride from Lilo & Stitch- which had an oddly calming effect on Mikey). 

“Hey Mikes what’s up-“

“They fuckin’ made a band Gerard.”

“Um, what?”

“Pete and Patrick, Gerard! They finally start a fuckin’ band and they didn’t let me in let alone even tell me!”

Shit. That was low.

Ever since Gerard had taken Mikey to his first concert he had dreamed of being in a band, and when Gerard had left that dream behind for art Mikey had transferred over to Pete to share it, who in turn shared it with Patrick. Mikey hadn’t really picked up any instruments yet, his best was bass due to the lessons from Pete but Mikey obviously couldn’t depend on that because no band needed two bassists. 

“Okay Mikey, start from the beginning.” 

Mikey sighed, and Gerard realized just how much distress had seeped into his voice. “Okay, well, maybe I’m an asshole, I don’t know, but I’ve been blowing Pete off a lot lately because you know Bob and all. But then whenever I did see him he started getting really mad at me and Patrick wouldn’t even look at me so I stopped hanging out with them for a while. Apparently during that time they met someone named Joe at this book store and he had this friend named Andy and now they have a fuckin’ band! And do you know how I found out?”

Gerard felt the old and previously dormant clench in his heart whenever he believed Mikey had been treated unfairly, “How?”

“Patrick invited me to their concert on Facebook. An event on Facebook! And Pete had made the event, and hadn’t even invited me!”

Clearly Patrick was jealous of Bob, and Pete was jealous of Mikey because of Patrick being jealous of Bob. But he knew not to tell Mikey that, he would only blame himself for Pete and Patrick’s immaturity, “What’s the band called?”

Mikey groaned and then went silent, but Gerard just waited. “Fall Out Boy.”

“Damn,” Gerard said, “That’s actually pretty solid.” 

“I fucking know!” 

“Hey Gee, can you come here?” Frank called from the bedroom. 

Gerard covered the phone, “Just a moment sugar, I’m on the phone with Mikey.” He brought the phone back up to his face, knowing what to do, “Have you talked to Bob?”

“No,” Mikey admitted. 

“Why?” Gerard asked.

“I… I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“Mikes.”

Mikey sighed, “I in no way blame him, this is all my bad-“

“No,” Gerard interrupted, “It’s Pete and Patrick being stupid.”

“Yeah, well, shut up. But I know if he wasn’t involved this wouldn’t have happened.” 

“Yeah it wouldn’t have, you’d still be pining after Pete, and they’d be treating you as shittily as they are now but in a different way. The only difference there’d be is that they  
probably wouldn’t have the band and you wouldn’t have a boyfriend who’s absolutely crazy about you.”

There was silence and then a soft “Shit,” before Mikey asked, “So what should I do?”

“I don’t know,” Gerard said, “But I trust that Bob will, you know he’d do anything for you.”

Gerard could pretty much feel Mikey’s blush and dopey smile through the phone, and after giving Mikey some time to enjoy his sudden and rare influx of emotion said, “Listen, I  
love you but I gotta go. Call Bob alright?”

“Yeah,” Mikey replied, “Yeah alright, love you too Gee.”

Gerard waited for Mikey to hang up first, but before he could even put the phone down long enough to remember Frank had called for him he appeared at the frame of the bedroom door. His expression was hard to read, and he was clutching a piece of paper with wide eyes. 

Gerard had a fleeting moment to wonder if this is what he had looked like when Frank found him a little over a month ago, the first time Frank came home from Pencey Prep disappointed he realized, before Frank sad, “I was looking in your drawer for some Advil and- and… Gerard, why didn’t you tell me?”

Gerard was silent in confusion, he stood and walked over to Frank to see what he was holding. It was the letter he received a week ago, the letter from Dark Horse Comics saying  
they liked his comic book and were offering him a deal. “Frank,” Gerard began. 

“This is amazing Gerard!” Frank said, “Oh my God, Gerard, Gee, this is your dream right?”

“I guess, yeah, but Frankie-“

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, did this arrive last week? It doesn’t matter because oh my gosh you’re going to have a-“

“Frank, I’m not gonna take it.”

There was no sound, none at all. All of a sudden the ‘city that never sleeps’ seemed pretty damn quiet. After what felt like eternity Frank finally said, “What?”

“I’d have to move to Portland Frank.”

“So we move to Portland!”

“No Frankie, we’re not moving to Portland.”

“Okay, so we do long distance it’ll be-“

“Frank no, no one is moving to Portland.”

“But Gerard!” He said, becoming angry now, “Why not? This is your dream, you not only got a shot at it but you actually got your mother fuckin’ dream. You have to go!”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter, of course it matters Gee.”

“I mean,” Gerard said slowly, somehow still calm, “That it doesn’t matter compared to you. That you’re life is here, and that I’m not taking your life away and that my life is with you.”

If Gerard’s words shocked Frank (which they did) it didn’t matter because any inward response would pale in comparison to Gerard’s. He had never really understood why he hid the letter in his drawer, never had taken the time to explain to himself how deeply he was attached to Frank. Saying it out loud made it all too real, but suddenly he wasn’t afraid. 

“Oh Gerard,” Frank said and then pulled him into a tight a hug. 

Gerard could feel him shudder, “Frankie, baby, are you crying?”

Instead of answering Gerard’s question he said, “I love you so much, okay? Don’t ever forget that, I love and will always love you. Anything I ever do will be because I love you okay?” His voice was shaky.

Gerard just squeezed him tighter, hoping to give comfort, “I love you too.”

 

A week and a half later Frank was leaving for Jersey with Pencey for a few days to do some recording. Gerard had wanted to see him off, but Frank insisted he keep his shift. Gerard, for once, truly hadn’t wanted to work, but he couldn’t pass up a shift that had Frank’s blessing. 

That morning they had woken up early, simply to enjoy each other’s company. The way Frank kept touching and kissing him had Gerard blushing like a teenage girl. “Why don’t I just quit my job and come with you darling?” Gerard asked flirtingly, letting only a little of his reluctance to be separated from Frank leak into his tone. 

Frank had only smiled and kissed the corner of Gerard’s mouth, “That would be quiet a scandal.”

 

Gerard got back to the apartment later than he had planned, the barista who had the night shift had called in sick and Gerard was left alone to do over time. Normally he wouldn’t mind, but he felt guilty for leaving Pancake alone that long and hoped Frank wouldn’t ask any questions about his day that he would have to dance around.  
But Gerard discovered their apartment to be Pancake-less, which was odd because Frank hadn’t mentioned taking her with him. In fact, there was quite a few things absent from the apartment, and Gerard began inspecting every room for missing objects. 

It wasn’t until he reached the closet that Gerard realized only Frank’s stuff was gone.

Gerard refused to believe what was the most reasonable explanation, maybe he was just imagining it was only Frank’s stuff or perhaps it was some kind of weird robbery. Like, a prank between local bands or something. He knew, New York was big it had a lot of crazy people, right?

When Gerard found the sticky note attached to the fridge though there was nothing left to do but give into despair.

_G-_  
 _I’m leaving, it’s over. I’m sorry. Take care of yourself._  
 _~Frnk_


	15. Chapter 15

Gerard still hated the window seat, but lately he hated talking to strangers even more.

So instead of asking the perfectly average lady next to him if she would like to switch seats he hunched his shoulders and actually turned his body towards the window, trying to make himself smaller. The cover for his window was broken, so he focused on the screen that was for his seat instead, hoping it would distract him from takeoff. But after a safety and in case of emergency tutorial video it shut off, and Gerard was confronted by his own reflection. 

He quickly turned away to look out the window, his eyes stinging with tears. He was upset by a number of things; the flight, the black eye and split lip on his face, his anxiety, and to top it all off he could now hear the faint sound of music from someone around him listening with headphones that were too loud. It was _Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down_ and while Gerard tried to avoid songs by Fall Out Boy on principle for obvious reasons, this song in particular he did his best to never hear because it always filled him with a pure and unexpected sadness. 

He sighed and dropped his head on to the cool wall, closing his eyes tight and trying to fold his legs up in the ample space, having to hold them up with his arms to do so. 

_How did I get here,_ Gerard wondered to himself. But he knew, and he didn’t really want to think about it. 

 

The plane landed in the New York City airport about 30 minutes earlier than planned, but Gerard didn’t want to bother Mikey and Bob and figured they’d be here to pick him up around the same time anyways. As he waited for his luggage he heard that damn song again playing softly from some overhead speakers somewhere and shoved his headphones into his ears. 

He had seen Mikey and Bob fairly recently given the distance between them, the last time had been in early July when Gerard had flown them both out to San Diego for when he had been nominated (and unexpectedly received) the Eisner Award for Umbrella Academy. 

The success he had attained in around the two years since the comic was first released was incredible, and Gerard was more than thankful that the two books he had written were selling so well. But to be honest Gerard hadn’t worked on anything, even really drawn anything, in ages. 

Now he was back in New York to stay at Mikey and Bob’s until early December, it being late August now. Over the two years since he’d moved to Portland Gerard had been taking a few classes online, and now he only had a few credits left before he’d be able to graduate and had decided it’d be easier and quicker to just move back to finish. He could’ve gotten his own place or just stayed in a hotel room, but Mikey insisted that he stay with them.

Gerard was buying a water bottle from a vending machine when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around in surprised and felt a flash of pure terror until he met eyes with Mikey.

He smiled, slightly embarrassed, “You went blonde?” 

Mikey smirked back at him, “Shut up lemon head.” 

Gerard felt his face flush, “The store was out of red hair dye.”

Mikey raised an eyebrow, “How many times did you go?”

Gerard chewed on his lip, “I uh, I- once.”

“And when was that?”

Gerard sighed, “Mikey please, I just got here.”

“Fine,” Mikey said, “But we’re going to lunch and it’s either now with me or later with Bob there too.”

Gerard only nodded, he needed those twenty or so minutes it’d take them to get to lunch to mentally prepare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know my writing's been shitty lately and that the chapters have been shorter so im sorry about that, it's been a little hetic lately but writing helps so thanks for sticking with me :)


	16. Chapter 16

“Have you been taking your pills?” Mikey asked.

Gerard sighed, staring into his bowl of soup that was almost full still while Mikey’s was more than halfway done. “You know what Todd thinks-“

“Fuck Todd.” Mikey said, cutting him off.

Gerard glared at him, “Mikey, I don’t care if you don’t like him but he is my boyfriend, my boyfriend of a _year_ Mikey, so I would appreciate if-“

“I don’t give a _fuck_ what you appreciate when it comes to him because I would appreciate it if he wasn’t a controlling asshole to you.”

Gerard sighed and looked back down into his bowl, concentrating as if he could find his future in it. 

Mikey also sighed, and reached over across the table to touch Gerard’s hand. Using a much softer voice he said, “You need to break up with him.”

“I didn’t come here to discuss this,” Gerard said quietly, weakly.

“So why did you come back here?”

“To graduate-“

“ _Gerard_ ,” Mikey almost whined, “We both know that’s not true.”

Gerard looked back up at Mikey, “Why couldn’t we go back to your house?”

“Contrary to what you believe, not everyone is out to get you. Why aren’t you eating?”

Gerard shrugged. “Jet lag,” he half lied, “I feel like everyone is staring at me, which I know is irrational but-“

“It’s not that irrational with your fucked up face.” Mikey said and Gerard flinched. Mikey’s voice softened again, “I’m sorry, but, what happened? Please Gee.”

Gerard just shook his head, he didn’t want to talk about it and he knew better than to lie to Mikey about it. 

“Fine,” Mikey said, “I don’t want to talk about it any more than you do, and as long as you’re here then I guess I don’t have to worry anyway. You wanna go home now?”

Gerard gave him a nod, filled with gratitude.

 

“Holy fuck Bob, you’re getting it all over my neck!” Gerard shouted, not able to stop smiling from the feeling of lightness he had. 

“Oh Gerard,” Bob sang, equally as drunk. He’d been singing to him for about 12 minutes now, and Mikey, being sober, randomly was alternating between recording their drunken interactions and rolling his eyes. Only a few hours ago, when they each had only had a couple of drinks, Mikey had left to get bright red hair dye and when he’d gotten back to discover Gerard and Bob steadily getting more and more drunk Mikey decided it was best someone stay mostly sober for the hair dye process. You know, because of the chemicals and all that jazz. 

“Bob you still have another half of Gerard’s hair, and Gee don’t fuckin touch your hair right now you’re gonna stain your hands.”

“But Michael,” Gerard simultaneously whined and giggled, “There’s dye in it.”

“Yeah that’s the fuckin’ point, Gee.”

“I have an idea,” Bob said, as he finished covering Gerard’s hair (and ear and neck, which they had failed to put any shampoo on and would definitely stain).

“What?” Gerard said, then continued saying the word what to the tune of the beginning of the song _Thrift Shop_ and then exploding with laughter. 

“Let’s pierce your nose, you’d be so badass,” Bob said, ignoring Gerard’s laughter.

“Bob, Gerard’s afraid of needles,” Mikey interjected before it went too far.

“Mikey, Mikey, Mikeyway,” Gerard said eagerly.

“What Gee?”

“I’m mother fuckin’ Macklemore,” Gerard said, with a tone of seriousness and confidence in his voice. 

“Sure you are,” Mikey answered.

Later, when Gerard was in the shower to wash the dye out, “Holy fuck, it’s wet!” he had shouted (presumably talking about the water), Bob sobered up a bit and sat down next to Mikey. “Hey babe.”   
Instead of answering, Mikey dropped his head on to Bob’s shoulder and then let himself be wrapped up in his arms and pulled closer. 

Bob kissed Mikey’s hair a few times and then whispered, “I worry about him too.”

Mikey only nodded, not opening his closed eyes in fear a tear or two would leak out. Then they heard Gerard scream, “Holy shit the water is red, it is SO red! New York city is   
fuckin’ crazy!” 

Mikey and Bob both laughed, and Mikey thanked God that Gerard didn’t start class the next morning.

 

Only a week of classes and Gerard was already feeling himself get behind on classwork.

“Mikey,” Gerard said one night, “I need to get work done.”

Mikey shrugged.

“I can never work at a home setting, you know that.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Miiiikey,” Gerard whined, feeling silly and childish but not wanting to admit out loud that even worse than not getting any work done was going out and finding a place to get   
work done. 

“Fine, fine.” Mikey said. “Come to the Barnes & Noble I work at, the lady who does the Starbucks at night is really nice and I’ll be there if you have any… issues.”

Which is why Gerard was now standing in the place he had once worked butt loads of hours, on the other side of the counter. 

When it was his turn the order the chubby girl at the register gave him a kind smile. “Are you Mikey’s brother?” she asked, and Gerard noticed her name tag read “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

Gerard found himself giving her a genuine smile in return, “How’d you know?” he asked. 

“He told me to look out for the dude who looked like he got stabbed in the throat,” she laughed and Gerard blushed remembering the dye that was still stained on his neck, fuckin’ Splat. 

Her laugh wasn’t unkind though, and Gerard found himself still feeling an odd amount of comfort. “Yeah, uh, hair mishap.” 

“Yeah man, I get that,” she said, pulling a strand of her hair from the back to reveal it was blue. “Can I get you anything?”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, can I get a chai tea latte?” 

“Sure thing,” the girl said and took the order.

Once Gerard had settled comfortably at a table in the back, that was kind of small but whatever, he found himself being able to concentrate on his work and actually do his work. It had been ages since Gerard had drawn, like really drawn. And as he sipped from his beverage and kept pushing through all his homework he felt an unfamiliar sense of purpose fill him. He could do this, this would work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck!! over 100 kudos?! omg i never even expected to get 5, 12 was my dream goal!!! (12's my favorite number) thank you so much to everyone reading this, it makes me so happy to know that people are actually enjoying this you have no idea.


	17. Chapter 17

Gerard eventually learned the name of the barista that worked there on week nights (the name that wasn’t Paul Blart: Mall Cop), Claire. Gerard learned she was from the South, that she had stupidly moved up with a boyfriend who turned out to be an asshole, but how she unexpectedly fell in love with the city. 

“Everyone back home thinks I had a child and moved here to hide the shame or protect my ‘daddy’s name’ or whatever, can you believe some parts of this country are still like that?”

Gerard had laughed, “Well did you have a baby?” he asked.

“Fuck you,” Claire responded, but was smiling.

Gerard surprised himself by becoming actual friends with Claire, and mostly he was happy he was still able to make friends.

 

Earlier that day Mikey had texted Gerard while he was in class.

Mikey: Idk if you should come to B&N tonight

Gerard: I have to, test tomorrow

Gerard saw Mikey was typing a response, and then someone bumped the desk Gerard was sitting at as they walked down the row. The phone fell to the floor, and when Gerard picked it up it to find that it was not only shattered but would no longer turn on as well.

He shrugged it off, the phone was so old it barely worked anyway and he could more than afford a new one. 

 

Gerard looked for Mikey when upon arriving at the Barnes & Noble that night. The store wasn’t overwhelmingly busy, but when he did spot Mikey at customer service with a considerable queue forming he decided that his brother didn’t need him mixing himself into it too. 

Gerard could tell the café was slightly busier than usual tonight, but shrugged it off when there was no line for the counter.

“Hey Claire,” he greeted.

A frazzled looking Claire looked up at him, “Oh, uh, hey Gee. Sorry what can I get you?”

Gerard just order a black coffee and after handing her the money asked, “Is anything wrong?”

She shook her head, “Not really, I just have somewhere to be tonight and my cover is running late so I’m just a little stressed.”

Cover? That must be why Mikey advised him to not come tonight. 

Gerard picked up his drink and after a moment of hesitation decided to walk towards his usual table. He sat in the back and it was busy enough that he’d go unnoticed, he just wouldn’t be able to order anything else that night. 

About 20 minutes later, when Gerard was elbow deep into his art history textbook, he heard Claire say ‘oh thank God’ and then a sickeningly familiar voice apologizing profusely. 

Gerard froze, keeping his eyes on his textbook but no longer reading. What the fuck. 

He looked over to the direction Mikey was working in, surprised to actually see him there looking at Gerard with an expression that was a mix of pity and worry. 

Gerard stared back for a long time before swallowing and then turning his head to finally look at the counter. 

There was Frank, working away. Frank fucking Iero.

Gerard felt a flair of anger, what the fuck did he think he was doing working here? He had the urge to get up and yell at Frank, to accuse him of being a hypocrite and just an asshole in general.

The anger quickly passed though, and when he realized Mikey had walked to his counter he looked up at him and gave him a thankful look, feeling helpless.

Mikey leaned down and whispered, “I got off early, let’s get out of here.” Gerard nodded and began quickly but quietly packing his stuff, his hands shaking. 

Mikey grabbed his wrist as they headed out the side door, and Gerard couldn’t help but look at the counter one more time. He regretted it the instant his eyes met with Frank’s, who was looking at them with pure surprise and shock written all over his face.

_Well fuck,_ Gerard thought as he and Mikey entered the dark and rainy street and began the rushed and quiet walk back to the apartment.


	18. Chapter 18

“Okay, Gerard, is this a panic attack? Is that what’s happening?”

Gerard paused from panting to swallow and shake his head. Mikey stood there for a moment and then nodded, walking to the kitchen to get Gerard a glass of water.

Gerard had laid down on Mikey’s couch, with some guidance from him, when they got home. While he was experiencing quite a bit of anxiety he didn’t believe it was a full on panic attack, mostly he just felt overwhelmed. 

When Mikey came back with the water Gerard just shook his head. After about 2 straight minutes of Mikey’s hard staring Gerard rolled his eyes and sat up to take the glass. 

He knew Mikey was waiting for him to ask, to accuse. But Gerard was too tired to even think about it tonight, in fact all of a sudden he felt exhausted. “I’m going to bed,” he announced. 

“Gerard, I didn’t-“

“Mikey please, not now.”

Mikey didn’t say anything, and when Gerard accepted that he was just going to stand there he got up from the couch and went to the room he was staying in silently. 

 

The next day as Mikey waited outside the phone store for Gerard he finally answered his own phone that had been going insane all day. “I swear to God Frank, did it ever occur to you there’s a reason I’m not answering?”

“And did it occur to _you_ there’s a reason I kept calling?” Frank replied.

“What do you want?” Mikey asked, his anger growing. 

“Why the fuck did you not tell me Gerard is in town?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Mikey said sarcastically, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell _him_ when you-“

“I get it, alirght?! You’re still pissed about that but I thought we had moved past it, that’s what you said at least.”

“Yeah well, it’s kind of different when the person you hurt so bad is right in front of me and also happens to be my brother.”

“Mikey please, you know why I did it!” Frank said, his voice becoming pleading. “And if you would just tell me-“

“If you want to know anything, _anything,_ about Gerard you man up and go ask him yourself. I’m still sticking by that, I’m not going to let you dance around what you did before.”

Frank was silent for a moment, and then said, “Have you-“

“No Frank, I won’t tell him. That’s your job, if he’ll hear you. I honestly don’t know if he wants, or even can, see you, but if he doesn’t then I expect you to stay away.”

“Of course,” Frank answered, “But what do you mean by-“

“I have to go,” Mikey said quickly and hung up, seeing Gerard walk out of the store with a worried expression on his face. “What’s wrong? Did they not give you a phone?”

Gerard shook his head, “No, I got one. Just, um, Todd. Todd was upset. That I hadn’t called and texted, in like, a while.”

Mikey felt yet another hot flash of anger, “Gee, if he-“

“It’s nothing Mikey,” he said, “But before we go home I want to stop and get some brown hair dye.” And with that he began walking, not bothering to check if Mikey was following.

Mikey stared at him for a moment before deciding to swallow down his rude remark and walk after him. 

 

After 4 days Gerard knew he had to get out and find somewhere to study. After approaching and then walking right by somewhere around 6 cafes he gave in and texted Mikey. 

Gerard: is Frank working tonight?

Mikey: he doesn’t work nights

Gerard: but can you still check?

Mikey: I don’t see him working

Gerard: I’m sorry but can you please ask- just make sure he isn’t there/ won’t be coming in

Mikey: it’s okay, already on it

Mikey: he isn’t coming in tonight, I promise you

After Mikey promised to Gerard about 12 more times that Frank was for sure not going to be there tonight Gerard began walking towards the familiar Barnes & Noble. 

 

“There you are Gerard! Have you been hiding from me?” Claire asked as she spotted Gerard walking towards the counter.

Gerard just swallowed and didn’t look up from his shoes, his stomach doing flips from all the memories of Frank that were now playing out in his mind. 

“C’mon now don’t give me the silent treatment.”

Gerard slightly flinched and mumbled, “Sorry.”

Claire just shrugged, “I learned about the, er, _situation,_ and I’ll be sure to give you warning next time, all right?”

Gerard looked up and gave her a small and grateful smile. 

Claire nodded approvingly, “Good, now, what can I get started for you?”

 

It wasn’t until 5 hours after Gerard had actually finished the latte that he even realized the writing on the cup. It was 10 minutes till closing, and Gerard shook the table accidentally as he put his books in his bag which cause the empty cup to fall to its side and begin rolling. 

Gerard reached to grab it when he spotted the obvious scrawl of a sharpie on a part of the surface that was turning out of sight. He picked the cup up and held it closer to his face, adjusting its position in his hand so he could see the whole message.

_Hey G-_   
_So you’re back in town? And based on your face, I’m guessing you were as surprised to see me as I was to see you. We should talk, I would like to talk. I work every morning Monday-Thursday, stop by?_   
_~Frankie_

Before Gerard could even really think about what he was doing he reached into his bag and pulled out a random marker. It was a light blue. Gerard walked over to the counter and reached across to grab a cup. He began to write on it, Claire saw him and smiled to herself but didn’t say anything. 

When he was done he set the cup down on the counter and turned without saying anything, quickly grabbing his bag and walking out the door not even bothering to wait for Mikey. 

_Frank-_   
_I’m busy those mornings, but I’m here almost every night that Mikey is working._


	19. Chapter 19

Gerard shifted uncomfortably in his seat the next night. He was in such a high state of discomfort that he could barely focus on the paper he was attempting to write. 

In hindsight, Gerard shouldn’t have been surprised to find himself so quickly going back to dressing in drag for art school. He hadn’t brought any kind of supplies when he flew over, so the day before he’d gone shopping and definitely purchased more than he needed that day but figured he’d use it all by the end of the semester. 

He did try to stick to the basics when purchasing undergarments, but decided to splurge a bit with Victoria’s Secret panties. He was going to buy only one pair, black with a bit of lace and of course a bow in the front, but found himself drawn to a thong on his way to check out. It was pretty nude color that also had lace and the bow on the front was a bright baby blue and he just couldn’t resist. 

He hadn’t realized he wasn’t really planning on ever wearing said thong until the next morning when he discovered the black pair of panties were gone. Gerard cursed Mikey in his head, assuming it was him because 1) Bob was still in bed and 2) Bob was Bob. 

Currently, along with the thong, Gerard was wearing a black high waist ruffle skirt, a white cut off tank that said _’Paris’_ in cursive with a heart dotting the i, a light pink leather jacket, and of course black thigh highs with his own beat up white converse. 

His makeup had taken longer than usual due to his lack of practice, but it still looked very realistic (and Gerard would argue “on point”). His hair had been a problem, and he was actually grateful to have modified the color to light brown because it made it easier to find extensions. Gerard recruited Bob that morning to help him insert them and make sure they looked natural, and although Bob was (surprisingly enough) not much help and not happy to be awake Gerard’s hair ended up being consistent and the average passerby wouldn’t be able to tell the medium length loose curls he was now sporting were anything but natural. He skimped on jewelry, just a gold watch and a fake gold hoop nose ring. It surprised him how much he didn’t notice the ring, but he quickly discovered that whenever he flared his nostrils his nose felt _unbelievably_ sore. 

When he had ordered his drink that night, keeping his voice soft and answers short to not draw attention to his slight falsetto, he had gotten all the way to paying when Claire’s expression suddenly changed to suspicious and then surprised, “Is that you Gee?! Holy crap you’re good, I mean Mikey warned me but I didn’t expect to actually not be able to recognize you.”

Gerard had blushed. “Thanks,” he answered in his ordinary voice. 

Gerard had paused yet again from his paper debating whether or not he should track Mikey down in the store and force his brother to switch underwear with him when he heard the side door for the café open and a nervous looking Frank walk in. Gerard quickly turned his attention back to his laptop, not wanting to get caught staring. 

It wasn’t until he heard Frank asking Claire if Gerard had been in that night that he remembered his appearance. 

“He’s here,” he heard Claire say. 

“Then where-“

Frank’s question was cut off by a phone ringing. Gerard heard Claire say a quick, “I gotta take this” and then the sound of a door, the one that led to the break room, opening and closing as Claire walked through it while answering her phone. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Gerard watched Frank lean against the counter and scan the area while biting his lip. Then suddenly Gerard was snapped out of focus as Mikey’s hand slapped his table. 

Gerard could feel his face flush as he looked up at Mikey with narrowed eyes. “What the hell are you doing,” he hissed, keeping his voice extremely low. 

All Mikey did was quickly flicker his eyes to Frank and then back to Gerard, and Gerard hoped to God that Frank wasn’t already looking over. _But why wouldn’t he be,_ Gerard thought as he heard the soft sound of Frank’s shoes against the floor as he walked to the table, _Mikey pretty much made a spectacle and Frank knows Mikey and fuck, fuck fuck._

“Hey, Mikes.” Frank said, and Gerard still didn’t turn his head. Shit, why hadn’t he decided to skip B&N tonight? This was not the ideal situation to see an ex. ‘Oh, yes, hi. I used to give you blowjobs all the fuckin’ time and moan your name, then you absolutely destroyed me for literally no apparent reason, and now I’m in woman’s clothing. So how are things?’

Gerard found himself biting back a laugh. _I’m insane,_ he decided. 

“Frank,” Mikey responded. 

After a heavy moment of awkward silence Frank said, “Uh hey, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Frank, Mikey’s kind of coworker.”

“And kind of friend,” Mikey muttered.

Gerard wished he was hit by a car. That a car would swerve off the road and break through the window and crash into Gerard dead on. But after about 12 seconds of that not happening Gerard slowly turned his head to look up at Frank.

Frank just kept giving him that sheepish and slightly forced smile, and when he realized no one else was going to say anything else for the foreseeable future began to add, “And you are-“

“For Christ’s sake,” Mikey interrupted, shifting Frank’s attention to him, “Fucking _look_ at him, Frank.”

“Him?” Frank asked quietly to himself as he turned his eyes back down to Gerard with a perplexed look. It didn’t take long for astonishment to start writing itself all over his face. “Gerard?!”

“Hey Frankie,” Gerard said, not quite sure how to approach the situation they found themselves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanna give another quick thanks to everyone leaving comments- they literally make my LIFE and I'm constantly rereading them at work and school and smiling like y'all give me hope and I wish I could hug all of you ((if that would be okay with you, i would totally respect any/all of your boundaries!!))


	20. Chapter 20

“You got a nose ring?” Frank asked, now seated across from Gerard.

Gerard shook his head, “Fake.” Any pause was heavy with tension, “Uh, new tattoos?” he asked, reaching across to lightly brush his fingers across Frank’s.

There was an obvious shiver through Frank and Gerard quickly retracted his hand, feeling slight embarrassment. 

“Uh, yeah, I mean they’re old now, well not old I just mean- but anyway, um.” He put his hands together, precisely placing his fingers.

Gerard gave him a faint smile, “Bookworm?”

Frank smiled back and nodded, “Yeah.”

“I didn’t know you liked reading that much? Well actually that does make sense, there were always a ton of books in our apartment.”

Frank chuckled, “I don’t know, I’ve always loved to read a good book and places like libraries and bookstores have always been calming.” Then he paused and brought his eyes to Gerard. Gerard wanted to look away, the familiar stare now making him uncomfortable, but he didn’t because he was looking back just as deeply into Frank’s eyes. “You know, in a way books kind of brought us together, I mean here-“

Frank was interrupted by Gerard’s phone’s violent vibrating against the table. He gave Frank an apologetic smile as he reached to answer it, once he realized it was Todd calling though he gave a low “I’ll be just a minute” before going outside to answer it.

“Hey babe, what’s-“

“Gerard, you haven’t texted me all day. What the hell, we talked about this.”

“I haven’t?” Gerard wondered out loud, thinking through his day. “Hm. I guess I haven’t. I’m sorry Todd, but you know how it is with school and stuff-“

“Gerard you’re on the other fucking side of the country, would it really _kill_ you to just let me know you’re alive?”

Gerard wanted to argue, to fight against the guilt Todd was trying to give him and say he was an adult and whether or not he wanted to text him was his choice and for God’s sake cut me some slack Todd just trust me. But instead, in hopes of avoiding yet another fight, said, “I’m sorry Todd. It’s been a crazy day, I just got kind of wrapped up in art though.”

After a pause Todd asked, “Like you used to?”

Gerard thought for a moment, chew on his lip and probably smearing his lipstick and lip liner he’d work so carefully on. “Yeah,” he finally said.

“Well, that’s good then, right? Like, are you happy?”

Gerard smiled, here was his Todd. The Todd who had been so caring yet emotionally reserved and calm. That was the Todd he had met and fallen for. “Yeah,” Gerard said again, “Now I am.”

 

Gerard had been outside for a total of 12 minutes before walking back in, surprised to see Frank still sitting there.

In fact, Frank looked concerned, “Everything all right?

Gerard gave him an apologetic and reassuring smile, “Yeah, sorry, it was my boyfriend and he-“ Gerard stopped talking when he saw the look of surprise on Frank’s face, realizing only then that he’d casually mentioned his boyfriend to an ex.

Frank blinked and then swallowed shaking his head, “Sorry, I uh, boyfriend?” he asked giving a slightly forced and apologetic smile.

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, we’ve been dating for a little over a year now.”

“That’s good, I’m uh, happy for you.” Frank replied, his smile genuine though his eyes reflected disappointment.

Gerard wondered why he would possibly feel that way, _What did he expect? It’s been two years and he broke up with me after all._

“Gerard,” Mikey said, announcing his approach to the table.

Frank checked his watch and it dawned on Gerard it was probably close to closing. 

“Almost ready to go?” Mikey asked, then when Gerard nodded, “Great, I’ll just be a few minutes.” And then he walked away. 

Gerard turned back to Frank, “Were you and Mikey friends before I got here? Like did you guys hang out?”

Frank nodded, “I noticed he kept blowing me off, Bob acted normal except I could never go anywhere near the apartment. Wish they just told me.”

“You and me both,” Gerard said with an amused smile, “Listen, I don’t see any reason why we can’t be friends?”

Frank smiled and nodded, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

 

Gerard and Mikey were silent on the walk home, as they were most nights, until Mikey asked, “Are you really going to do this?”

Gerard looked at Mikey, who was looking straight ahead instead of back at him. Gerard wasn’t much in the mood to discuss it, but knew better than to just pretend to not know what he was talking about. Instead he asked, “Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

Mikey didn’t answer at first, but Gerard waited figuring that Mikey was just contemplating. Eventually he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Your call. In all honesty, what he did was shitty but he had a good reason.”

“Will you tell me?” Gerard immediately asked.

Mikey shook his head, “I really would but it’s one of those things that’d I’d be an asshole to take from him, you know? Just know that when you’re not here to constantly remind me how he left you and piss me off, I think he’s a pretty solid dude.”

Gerard nodded and turned his head back to ahead of them, slipping back into a comfortable silence. That kind of praise was huge coming from Mikey, and Gerard knew not to take it lightly. Besides that, he found it increasingly hard to ignore this sense of rightness that was blooming in his chest. _Maybe things will work out,_ he thought. But he’d been wrong before.

In a brief moment of anxiety, he’d reached out his hand to grab Mikey’s who, in a rare moment of physical affection, squeezed Gerard’s hand tight. They walked the rest of the way like this, each noting that temperature was starting to become chillier.


	21. Chapter 21

“But Bob!” Mikey whined, following right behind him in the apartment as Bob got ready to leave. “I hate driving to the airport, and I already did last time.”

Bob shrugged, “That was your choice Michael, you wanted some time with Gee.” He pulled a pair of drum sticks out of a drawer, “Look, I can’t pass up this chance to play drums and actually get paid, who knows when it’ll happen again? You know what this means to me, and you have to admit we actually do really need the money.”

Mikey knew what he was saying was true, honestly he’d been fighting him more out of wanting to rant than truly thinking Bob should decline the offer. Still, it sucked. And they both knew that even if Mikey went with Gerard on the subway or cab it would only make things worse for his rocky relationship with flying. 

Mikey sighed in defeat, sitting down on the bed behind him. Bob glanced over at him looking concerned. “Hey,” he said, sitting down next to Mikey and wrapping his arms around him, “You okay? If you really need me to I can pass it.”

Mikey shook his head, and allowed himself to be pulled in closer. He laid his head on Bob’s chest and felt him rest his own head on top of Mikey’s. In almost a whisper Mikey said, “I don’t want him to go back Bob.” 

“It’s just for the weekend,” Bob said comfortingly, gently rubbing Mikey’s back. “You know that Gerard’s committed to finishing school, but he’s not some freshman that just escaped from home. He has his life back in Portland.”

“Not much of one,” Mikey muttered not so kindly.

“True,” Bob acknowledged, “But then at least this isn’t every weekend.”

Mikey sighed again and just cuddled closer into Bob and closed his eyes. “I just wish he wasn’t going back to Todd, Bob the guy is just bad news.”

“Hey you know I know that, or did you forget I was at Comic Con too? But Gerard’s an adult Mikey, it’s hard to believe but he really is, I promise. He can make his own decisions, and us constantly pissing all over those decisions, whether we’re right or not, will only push him away.”

“Shut up for a second,” Mikey responded, “You’re being too reasonable.”

Bob just laughed and squeezed Mikey’s arms in comfort.

“I’m so lucky to have you,” Mikey said softly.

“Even though if you kept on tailing along with Pete and Patrick you’d be famous and rich now?”

“Are you kidding me? Those two are embarrassing themselves daily on a national, maybe even international, level. No thank you.”

Bob just laughed, “Then I’m happy you’ll have me Mikeyway.” He looked down at Mikey with a mischievous grin and winked, “It’ll be nice to have the apartment to ourselves this weekend, eh?”

Bob couldn’t stop laughing at the way Mikey shouted “EW GROSS” and pushed his way out of Bob’s arms.

 

Mikey really did hate driving to the airport by himself though, and Gerard being in the car counted as by himself considering he would be focusing on not freaking the fuck out. Which is why on the Friday morning Gerard flew out for a weekend in Portland with Todd, Frank was sitting in the passenger seat while Gerard was sprawled out in the back. 

“You know,” Mikey said, “Driving in a car is more dangerous than flying in a plane, especially without your seatbelt on.” 

Gerard utilized Mikey’s rearview mirror to glare at him, “1) the back of a car is a safer place to sit even without a seatbelt, 2) it is _not_ more dangerous you idiot it just happens much more often because far more people are driving than flying at any given time which skews the numbers by a butt ton, and 3) you’re an unintelligent asshole so why don’t you shut the fuck up.”

“Did you just say butt ton?” Frank asked and Gerard just groaned in response. “Eisner award winning author Gerard Way, confirmed to _still_ be a middle school girl.”

“New update, it has also confirmed that Frank is somehow an even bigger ass!” Gerard yelled back, but at this point they were all laughing. 

 

_Okay,_ Gerard thought, _You had your freak out over text, just calm down. Just get food or something or read a book just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm._

But Gerard couldn’t get himself off the floor and he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. His flight had been delayed, and he had another hour before they were scheduled to board. He didn’t want to have a panic attack in the airport, but the amount of anxiety building up in him was concerning and if he couldn’t get himself to calm down soon an anxiety attack was almost inevitable. 

He had arrived at his gate with only 20 minutes before boarding, and while that caused all kind of stress on its own he had found on numerous occasions that it was his best plan of action for flying because it gave him ample time to see other planes take off and really consider what he was about to do. 

But before he had even had the time to sit down and text Mikey that he was at his gate and that he and Frank could leave the delay had been announced and instead Gerard was texting Mikey things like “I can’t do this” and “I can’t deal” and “Oh God Mikey is this the end.”

Gerard pressed his hands against the face, willing for his cold hands to stop shaking and to soothe his face that was now burning from the flushing it was doing. He was so focused on breathing that it was a huge surprise to him when he heard Frank say, “Gee?”

Gerard caught only a short glance of Frank standing above him before Frank sat down next to him on the floor, “Hey Gee, I’m here, it’s okay the flight will-“

Frank was cut off by Gerard suddenly clinging to him. Frank wrapped his own arm around Gerard in return, both out of instinct and in a legitimate desire to comfort. He was surprised by the lack of awkwardness he felt, he and Gerard both had been overly careful when interacting with each other. But this was harmless, right?

“Why’d they let you pass security?” Gerard asked once he stopped shaking. 

“I knew one of the security guards, old family friend, and when Mikey explained the situation she let me through.” He shrugged, “Just one of those things.”

They were silent for a while. “I need a distraction,” Gerard decided out loud. 

“Okay, uh, game of questions?” Frank asked. 

“Like, when we first met and just asked and answered questions?”

“Why not?” Frank replied.

“Well okay,” Gerard said. “Do you still have Pancake?”

Frank shook his head, “She had to stay at my mom’s for a bit and then they fell in love. I miss her, but life’s been hectic lately and she deserves better. Do you ever listen to Fall Out Boy?”

“No,” Gerard replied. “Whenever I see any sign of their band’s success I can’t stop thinking it was an opportunity taken from Mikey. I’m not sure if that’s true or even completely logical, but whatever I don’t care.” He paused and then asked, “Do you?”

“I never go looking for it, but they do play some of their stuff occasionally at work. Some of it’s pretty good, actually. What happens in Umbrella Academy 3?” 

“Nice try.” Gerard said.

“Okay, when does it come out?”

There was a heavy silence before Gerard said, “I haven’t really been, uh, working on it.”

“Oh,” Frank said, “Cause of school?”

“Not really,” Gerard admitted.

“Then why?” Frank asked.

“Things haven’t been… the best lately. It’s harder for me to draw than usual.”

Frank just nodded, tightening his grip around Gerard in comfort. 

“You owe me like 3 questions now,” Gerard stated.

“All right, shoot,” Frank replied.

“I just have one, a big one but again you owe me 3 questions, actually maybe 4.”

_Oh no,_ Frank thought but said, “Okay.”

“Why did you break up with me?” Gerard asked.

Frank was glad they weren’t already looking at each other and that he didn’t have to actively avoid eye contact, though after a moment of silence had passed he did feel Gerard shift slightly and figured he was probably looking up at him now, but Frank was already looking away.

“Frank, it’s been over two years.”

“I know.”

“I deserve to at least-“

“I fuckin’ know all right just,” Frank sighed, “Give me time.” He swallowed, contemplating exactly what to say as he felt Gerard’s persistent eyes stare into his jaw. “Are you aware you’re way too nice and all around pleasant? Even Mikey agrees, but he says it’s sickening and I wouldn’t necessarily go that far. I knew you weren’t going to take that deal in Portland if I was around. And look at you now, do you even realize how successful you are?”

“I didn’t want it,” Gerard replied, feeling a mix of sadness over the past and anger over the decision Frank made for him. He unfolded himself from Frank’s arms, sitting back up to look at him properly. “I didn’t want it without you.”

Frank turned his head to look at him, sadness written all over his face, “I didn’t just run out and hide. Gerard, I… I went back to Jersey and checked into rehab.”

Everything seemed to stop, and for his first time ever in an airport Gerard actually forgot he was in an airport. “What?”

Frank looked away again, hanging his head back and closing his eyes. “I never told you, Pencey broke up and I kept it this huge secret. At first it was because you had just gotten that letter from Dark Horse and I didn’t wanna ruin your moment or anything, but then I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you. And I kept fuckin’ lying and every band practice became getting wasted at the bar but you never said anything and hell, I bet even now you’re finding it hard to believe I was actually drinking that much because you put way too much faith in the people you actually bother to trust.”

Gerard felt himself blush as Frank voiced Gerard’s very real disbelief. 

Frank continued, “And then you got your big chance and I knew I was going to ruin it, that if I finally manned up and told you that actually nothing was keeping us in New York that’d you then insist you be there for me while I got help and I didn’t want to do that Gerard, I didn’t want to ruin your life.”

“But you did,” Gerard argued, he wanted to argue all of Frank’s reasoning but knew he couldn’t do so truthfully. However, he was being painfully honest when he said, “You fucking tore me apart and I didn’t even know why you were doing it, and I don’t hate you for getting help because that was brave Frank, really it was. But Christ, I was _wrecked_ Frank. I would’ve waited there forever in hopes you’d come back if Mikey hadn’t forced me to take the comic deal.”

“I know,” Frank said, turning to look at him again. “Mikey told me. About all of it. What I did was so stupid Gerard, and I wish I could take it back. I think about it every day.”

After that neither of them said anything. But Gerard could’ve sworn they were both leaning in closer, slowly though oh so slowly. That both their eyes were beginning to slide close and their pair of lips slowly begin to slightly part. 

And then there was an announcement for his plane beginning to board and they both were jerked back into reality. Frank quickly stood up, remembering Gerard had gotten first class (he could afford it after all, and maybe it would help with flying) and would be boarding first. He held a hand out to help Gerard up. 

Gerard just looked at it for a moment with a confused expression, then seemed to suddenly remember what it was for and shot Frank an apologetic smile. “Oh, thanks,” he said as he grabbed on to it and Frank pulled him up. 

“No problem,” Frank said, and then they were both just standing close to each other in an awkward silence. 

Gerard eventually broke the silence, “I should uh.”

“Yeah,” Frank agreed and then added, “Um, text me when you land okay?”

Gerard just smiled at him and nodded, “Of course.” And after a quick moment of debate, pulled Frank into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

Frank just closed his eyes, fighting off tears that were suddenly overcoming him, and held on a bit desperately to Gerard when he just as quietly replied, “You’re welcome.”


	22. Chapter 22

Frank and Mikey weren’t concerned when they first got to where Gerard’s baggage claim was and didn’t see him. Though it was obvious other people from his flight were already waiting he could have easily stopped to use the restroom or get water and got caught up in a line or something else of a similar nature.

They were beginning to feel nervous 15 minutes later, now in possession of Gerard’s suitcase and the area around the carousel mostly empty. Gerard hadn’t responded to either of their texts, but maybe he’d just forgotten to turn his phone off airplane mode after the landing.

Mikey was obviously beginning to worry. “Maybe we should-“ Frank started but was cut off by Mikey’s sigh of relief. 

Mikey raised his hand and waved and Frank turned his head to see where he was looking. Gerard was walking towards them, wearing a baggy black sweater, jeans, converse, and huge sunglasses.

“At least there not his mom sunglasses,” Frank joked, turning to look at Mikey with a smile.

Mikey was frowning though, and focusing so intently on Gerard’s approach Frank seriously doubted he had even heard him.

Frank frowned in confusion and turned to look at Gerard, which immediately made him understand why Mikey was upset. One of Gerard’s cheeks was definitely swollen with light bruising and he was sporting a split lip which was bleeding due to the huge smile he had. 

“Mikey! You brought Frank? Woah, that’s so great.” Gerard said, unbelievably upbeat for being in an airport and for having a beat up face.

“What the hell, Gerard? Don’t avoid the subject, you were there for like two fucking days!” Mikey said, red in the face and obviously struggling to keep his voice down.

“Shhh,” Gerard responded, suddenly lifting his hands to cup Mikey’s face, “It’s all okay if we all use inside voices.” 

Mikey’s eyes narrowed, suddenly reaching up and yanking Gerard’s sunglasses off, and Frank winced in surprise when he noticed Gerard also had a black eye, “Oh my fuck, Gerard, are you high?”

Frank leaned over to look more directly at Gerard’s face over Mikey’s shoulder, and his eyes were definitely dilated.

“No, no, no, no,” Gerard reassured. “Mikeyway of course I’m not, sometimes I take too much melatonin but I am _fine._ ”

Frank found himself biting back a smile, it was totally inappropriate for the situation, but he simply could not help it. Gerard’s voice had taken on a slight southern drawl halfway through his last sentence.

“Gee, for the last time you are not from the south, not by any stretch of your imagination.”

“You do it too!” Gerard said, and then added, “Partner!”

“Gerard please,” Mikey said, now grabbing on to Gerard’s face since Gerard had let go of Mikey’s in favor of throwing his arms in the air. “Did you take anything, anything at all?”

Gerard nodded, “Eeeeyup, I had like some anxiety stuff or whatever.”

“Why the fuck would you have it _now?_ ” Mikey asked.

“Uh, I was on a plane, duh,” Gerard said, smiling as if Mikey’s frustration was the most amusing thing in the world. “‘Sides, it wasn’t even my idea.”

Frank noticed Mikey tense, and that it took a fraction of a second longer for Mikey to respond, “What?”

“I mean, uh,” Gerard said, realizing his mistake, “It was totally my idea!” He said this with enthusiasm, as if enough pep over the statement would suddenly make it seem completely believable. 

“ _Christ,_ mother fucking Todd,” Mikey muttered, adding to Frank’s growing confusion. “Do you know how much he gave you?”

Gerard shook his head, “He put it in my coffee so I wouldn’t freak out and like coffee makes me calm so, like, double calm, right? Man, he’s so smart.” Gerard fluttered his eyes, randomly becoming buried in his own thoughts. “We had really great sex this weekend.”

And just like that Frank found this whole exchange much less amusing. 

“Shit, I bet he gave you a whole pill. You’re still supposed to cut that stuff in fourths when you take it, right Gee?” Gerard nodded and Mikey said, “Fuck.”

Without any warning, Gerard turned to Frank with a look of realization on his face. “Frankie!”

Frank blushed at the old nickname, “Yeah, um, hi.”

Gerard reached out and grabbed Frank’s hand, not breaking eye contact. “Frank,” he said with so much seriousness that Frank became even more alert, “We should trade shoes.”

“Thank God you came with me,” Mikey said to Frank as he grabbed Gerard’s arm to stop him from kneeling down to probably begin removing his shoes. “I cannot handle him right now.”

 

Frank had been the one to primarily lead Gerard out to the car while Mikey handled the luggage and texted Bob. 

“Fraaaannnnk,” Gerard whispered at one point.

“Yeah?” Frank said back, talking in a low voice.

“I used to really love blowin’ you, back when we were dating? Yeah, then. You were so fucking gorgeous.”

Frank didn’t respond, feeling his face flush at the words while the rest of his body responded as one would expect it to. He was so fucking thankful Mikey was walking a few steps ahead and that Gerard had kept his voice low while sharing that bit of information. 

When he got Gerard in the back seat, Frank meant to quickly get in the front seat so that he would have some time to adjust his pants before Mikey also got int. But his plan was foiled by Gerard’s hand, which didn’t let go of Frank’s arm, “Sit back here with me?” he asked. 

Frank just nodded and got in, not wanting to argue and figuring this was a better way to hide his boner from Mikey anyway.

Which is how he ended up in the position he was in now, lightly stroking Gerard’s hair as he slept. Almost immediately after the car was turned on, Gerard had unbuckled his seatbelt and laid down, placing his head in Frank’s lap. Frank’s face was still red from the knowing smile Gerard had shot up at him before closing his eyes and switching to sleep mode in record time. 

“I shouldn’t have let him go back,” Mikey said suddenly, causing Frank to look away from Gerard and towards him. 

“Why?” Frank asked, still a bit confused after all the tomfoolery in the airport.

Mikey looked up at the rearview mirror to look at Frank. He raised one of his eyebrows when he asked, “Where do you think those bruises came from?”

It took Frank a moment, his eyebrows furrowing as he began to connect all the tiny mutters and facts and feelings Mikey had stated about Todd. Once it clicked, his eyes widened in understanding and he looked back down at Gerard with horror and concern painting his face. “Oh,” he said with complete shock.

Mikey snorted and put his eyes back on the road, “Yeah, oh.”

Frank didn’t look back up from Gerard, instead he was overcome by sadness as he very delicately brushed his fingers over Gerard’s peaceful and damaged face. _Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm doing my best to finish this story this week cause i'll be out of town for a conference this weekend and i dont wanna leave y'all hangin so close to the end (notice how the chapters now say whatever/27) but if it doesnt work out that way just know that im doin my best :)))


	23. Chapter 23

“God fucking damn it Mikey,” Frank muttered to himself as he walked against the strong cold wind. He tightened his jacket, wondering why did Mikey’s apartment have to be so far from the Barnes & Noble. Of course on the day Frank worked one hour, just one God damn hour, later than Mikey he left his phone there, leaving Frank to take it back to him.

When he first entered the apartment building he allowed himself a moment to warm up. It was only early November, but Frank had brought only a light jacket with him to work considering it was just a 5 minute walk from his place and he was always warm while working anyways. 

Frank walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. After a moment he knocked again, “Mikey?” he called. “Mikes, you left your phone.”

There was more silence, and right before Frank was about to give up, just text Bob to come pick up the phone from him at some point and leave the apartment building, he heard a strangled, “Just a second.”

Frank froze. It was obviously Gerard, but it didn’t _sound_ like Gerard.

“Gee?” he called. 

Gerard didn’t answer, instead after about another minute Frank heard the door unlock and then Gerard was standing before him, he was wearing old sweats and an old Iron Maiden shirt. His eyes were red which Frank assumed was from crying, and Frank found it all too easy to remember the black eye he’d had not that long ago.

Gerard held out his free hand, one still on the door, and Frank didn’t really think out anything, but instead of just handing Gerard the phone he stepped towards him, leaving virtually no space between them. 

Gerard gulped. “Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Frank said. 

It was impossible to tell who’d move first, and honestly it was a surprise to them both. They both had experienced moments of tension, with so much suggestion and longing between them, but they both accepted it as not meant to be, that their time had passed. And they were both in such different stages of life now that neither of them felt any real regret over it.

But now here they were, and with a roll of Frank’s hips there desperate making out on Gee’s bed was becoming ever more desperate. But of course, as Frank slowly got a grasp on what was happening he realized what Gerard was doing, what _he_ was doing. Doing to Gerard.

“Gerard, Gee- ah,” Frank gasped, Gerard leaving wet kisses on Frank’s jaw since he had pulled back slightly to speak. “Gerard, no.” Frank said a little more firmly, pulling away even farther from Gerard despite it being the absolute last thing he wanted to do. “We shouldn’t… not like this.”

Gerard just looked at him, showing no emotion as he slowly caught his breath. Eventually he said, “You’re right.”

Frank sat up, scooting farther away from Gerard, and leaned back against the wall Gerard’s bed was pushed against. He closed his eyes, hanging his head back and trying to ignore his pestering erection. “Why were you crying?” he asked. 

Gerard didn’t answer, and Frank opened his eyes slightly to glance over at him. Gerard was still laying down, staring at the ceiling and chewing on his thumb in thought. 

“Gerard?” Frank prompted.

“I’m thinking of not coming back, after I go home for Thanksgiving break. I’d leave now, but this way I won’t have as much trouble from Mikey.”

Frank’s immediate instinct was to ask why, to argue against the statement, and to even call Gerard a name or two. 

But Frank thought he knew the problem, so instead he just said, “Tell me about Todd.”

Gerard chuckled, but it was obviously without humor. He looked up to meet Frank’s eyes, who was still staring down at him, concerned but also frustrated. “Mikey told you, huh?” When Frank didn’t say anything Gerard muttered, “Mikey fuckin’ Way,” and turned his eyes away again.

Gerard sighed, “He wasn’t always like this, I guess that’s how the story always goes but I mean I’ve changed too, so maybe it is my fault.”

Frank, once again, wanted to argue, but fought against the urge. He wanted to hear what Gerard had to say, and he knew interrupting him wouldn’t do any good.

Gerard continued, “So you dump me, I fall apart. Mikey literally holds my hand all the way to Portland, and when the comic works out I felt good enough to send him back. I felt like I had a new life, and I really was happy. Sometimes, anyway.” Gerard stopped, and sighed.

“Hey,” Frank says, seeing his growing distraught. “A lot of people go through it.”

Gerard just nodded. “Yeah, anyway after texting Mikey and him threatening to go back out there I decide to be an adult and go to a therapist. Social anxiety and a bit of depression. I get on medication, it works and things start working out again.

“And then, about a year after I moved out there, I meet Todd, and things felt so… so _normal._ And he’s this genuinely good guy, and I’m able to talk to him and he was so patient and I think ‘Hey this will be okay.’ And it was better than okay, Frank I swear to you. It wasn’t like some crazy, elaborate, TV romance but it _was_ a healthy relationship. And on top of all of it, the success for _Umbrella Academy_ is fucking insane.”

Gerard sighed, “So 6 months go by and we move in together. It made sense, only in hindsight was it stupid.” He paused. “He didn’t want me on the meds and I tried to talk to him about it, but he was so nice and it just bothered him. So I figure that you make sacrifices for the ones you love right? And I stop taking the pills. And things are hard but Todd still helps.

“We started arguing more, but everyone goes through hard times,” and then he went silent.

Frank waited, and honestly he was afraid to say anything. He felt sick, and while he hated Todd for what he was sure Gerard was about to admit he mostly hated himself for being the catalyst to them meeting in the first place.

“The first time was the most embarrassing. We were at Comic Con, the one for the Eisner Award. Mikey and Bob were there. And we were fighting over something stupid, and I was so embarrassed he wouldn’t just stop because Mikey and Bob were right there.

“So I pull him aside, for a bit more privacy. And then we went back and forth a little more, and I was starting to get sick of it, of all of it, and then he slaps me. And… and everything just stops and I can’t believe he slapped me but mostly I can’t believe me because for a moment I couldn’t figure out how the hell I even got there. But all he says is something like, ‘Hey, listen I’m sorry but let’s just forget it.’ And I think ‘No, fuck no,’ but I just nodded and I can feel how red that side of my face is and it was the most embarrassing thing ever ‘cause Mikey and Bob just keep looking at me with pity and I want to tell them to fuck off but I couldn’t even _speak._ And I think ‘I’m being crazy, but it was one time it won’t happen again.’

“But then it keeps happening,” Gerard says, “And by then it was too late, because I do love him. And he loves me.” 

After a pause Gerard added, “I came here to get away, but I do miss him. And it’s hard not to blame yourself. I know it’s a crazy thing to say, but every time it happens I’m the common variable.” Gerard forced himself to chuckle, it came out dry. “I mean after all, I’m the one who’s sick right?”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Frank finally spoke, having heard enough. He pulled Gerard into a tight hug, and realized he was shaking.

Frank had a million things he wanted to say, but it was clear Gerard already knew all of it. He felt so much guilt, if only he hadn’t left Gerard the way he did.

He squeezed Gerard tighter. “Let’s get you back on your meds,” he said, “That’ll help, it will.”

Gerard just nodded, biting down hard on his lip to fight back the tears.

“We can fix this,” Frank said, “We’ll fix this.”

Gerard wasn’t sure how he felt about that, because he did love Todd and what they once shared had been a normal relationship.

But he surprised himself by realizing that he trusted Frank. And that being with Frank now, even as vulnerable as he was, had a surprising calming effect on him. Maybe he really could do this. Maybe things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness y'all!!! 150 kudos?! you guys have no idea what it means to me that people are enjoying my writing. and this is now officially the longest thing i've ever written!!! (the second longest was a failed nanowrimo two years ago that was 27000 words) thanks for reading my story y'all, you're all so lovely !!!


	24. Chapter 24

Frank left his apartment early on the day of Thanksgiving, or early for him at least. They had all decided to stay in the city and just enjoy the day by themselves in Mikey’s apartment.

After Gerard had fallen asleep and Mikey and Bob came on the day Gerard had told Frank all about Todd, Mikey had pulled Frank aside for a little heart-to-heart.

“Don’t fuckin’ leave again, Frank.”

“Jesus Christ Mikey, I _won’t._ ” Frank said defensively.

“I’m not trying to… suggest anything,” Mikey said, “But if you’re gonn be this close to him then you better fucking stay.”

Frank nodded, fighting off the urge to defend himself because he knew Mikey had a point. “I will.” 

And now here he was, on his way to enjoy a holiday with Gee, Mikey and Bob. 

Except that when he got there and knocked, the door was opened by a serious looking Bob. Not that Bob’s normal face wasn’t serious, but the expression he had on now was so neutral that Frank thought it was probably forced. 

Bob just made a gesture with his head for Frank to follow, and then turned around and walked back into the apartment. 

Frank walked in, closing the door behind him, and immediately saw Mikey pacing and muttering, obviously pissed. 

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked.

Mikey looked up, only just now noticing Frank’s arrival, “He’s here.”

“Who’s here? Gee?”

“No, he’s on a walk with him.” Mikey said, somehow getting madder, “ _Todd’s_ here,” he hissed.

Frank leaned back in surprise, his eyes widening in disbelief. “What?” he asked.

Mikey nodded, “He just showed up at the door! Said he wanted to surprise him or whatever the fuck.” Mikey was talking with his hands, waving them around and over-gesturing, the scene would have been humorous if it weren’t for the context. Bob was standing rather close to Mikey, and Frank suspected it was to protect or comfort him as needed.

“Was he… did Todd…” Frank couldn’t finish his sentence, hell he could barely finish a thought.

Mikey shook his head, “He’s fine now, has his lovey-dovey-doting-boyfriend mode on.”

Frank felt some relief at the words but also felt his stomach twist at the image. Part of him wanted Gee away from the guy simply because of how destructive he was, but another part of him was experiencing a selfish pang of jealousy. He had realized the extent of his redeveloped feelings for Gerard after the make out session they’d had, which Frank realized they _still_ hadn’t talked about. 

He looked over at Mikey, thankful he wasn’t looking back at him because Frank was sure he had guilt all over his face, and wondered if Gerard had told him about it. 

He didn’t have much time to contemplate though, because then the sound of the door unlocking pierced through the apartment. Mikey turned to Frank quickly whispering, “Be pleasant,” before the door opened and in walked Gerard and Todd, hand in hand and both looking happy.

Todd was tall and lean, with brown eyes and brown hair with blonde highlights swept to one side. He was wearing skinny blue jeans, black converse, a black t-shirt, and a red hoodie. He made eye contact with Frank, who hadn’t yet taken time to compose himself so probably was looking at Todd with an unwelcoming expression. 

Todd turned to look at Gerard with a questioning look.

“Oh!” Gerard said, “Todd this is my friend, Frank. Frank this is Todd.”

Todd turned back to Frank with a smile, and Frank noted he was annoyingly not pale. _What kind of person from Portland isn’t pale?_ Frank wondered. “Hi,” Todd said.

Frank just nodded, “Hey.”

It was silent for a bit, until Gerard said, “Let’s turn on the TV, Todd was saying he wanted to watch the game.”

_Great,_ Frank mentally groaned, it was going to be a long day.

 

If Frank hadn’t known how manipulative Todd was or what was going on in his and Gee’s relationship, he would’ve thought he was an all right guy. They had actually made easy conversation while eating the “Thanksgiving dinner,” which was spaghetti and meatballs (none for Frank obviously) at 2 in the afternoon. 

It wasn’t until Mikey and Bob went on a post dinner walk that things started going as Frank would have expected. 

“Babe!” Todd called from the kitchen area. 

Gerard turned towards him, currently sitting with Frank on the couch. “Yeah?” he called back.

Todd walked to them, holding one of Bob’s black coats. “I think he forgot a jacket, should we-?”

“I will,” Gerard immediately said, standing from the couch. 

Frank wanted to stop him, pretty sure he’d seen Bob leave with one of his other coats on, but held his tongue when he saw Todd looking at him. Frank, who had been suspicious at any of his actions all day, began to wonder if he was trying something. 

Todd just stood there as Gerard got the coat and rushed out the door saying a quick, “Be right back,” though it would probably take him close to 10 minutes.

Once he was gone Frank and Todd just continued to stare at each other in silence, until Todd said, “So Frank, you trying to get Gerard back?”

Frank winced, mentally kicking himself for giving any kind of physical reaction before returning back to what he hoped was a neutral expression, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Todd scoffed, “Right, sure.” He paused, and then stepped closed to where Frank was still sitting, “You think he wouldn’t have told me? Gee fuckin’ loves me, I know all about you two, past and present, and I know what you’re trying to do, it’s written all over you’re fucking face. You really think getting Gerard back on his meds is gonna make him leave me? That’s kind of twisted dude.”

Frank stood up, hating himself for being short and also not caring how obviously pissed he was and how it was the reaction Todd was probably trying to get, “Shut up, okay? This isn’t some twisted game for Gerard’s affection, but you’re a class A asshole and I’m just trying to keep him from getting hurt-“

“Oh, protect him from getting hurt? Hurt like the way he was _crushed_ when you ran away?”

Frank didn’t know what to say, how to argue. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He couldn’t believe the fuckin’ nerve Todd had. “Who do you think you are?” Frank asked, hating himself for it being a horrified whispered. 

Todd smiled cruelly and leaned closer, his now low voice equally as sinister when he said, “I’m _Gerard’s boyfriend,_ and no matter what you think it doesn’t change the fact he’ll drop you and forget all about you if I just say the-“

“Oh _fuck_ you, you controlling asshat,” Frank spat loudly in Todd’s face with his fists now clenched in anger and an urge to punch, just in time for Gerard to open the door.

They both jumped back with guilty expressions upon Gerard’s arrival, knowing there was no way Gerard hadn’t caught at least a glimpse of the scene.

It was Frank that Gerard was glaring at though. “Frank, come talk to me in the hall?” he asked, but then added, “Now,” before turning around and walking back into the hall outside the apartment.

Frank wasn’t sure what to make of the situation, not having a clue as to what Gerard was thinking. Eventually, he followed Gerard out. 

Gerard shut the apartment door and was staring at Frank with disapproving eyes.

“What?” Frank asked.

“What do you mean what? _What,_ ” Gerard said with sarcasm and anger, “Was that?”

“You can’t be serious,” Frank said, anger rising again, “Gerard, he started it.”

“You’re both adults Frank, it doesn’t matter if he started shit.”

Frank threw his arms up in exasperation, “This is ridiculous, Gee, you know he’s an asshole.”

Gerard shook his head, “No Frank, but I know he’s my boyfriend.”

Frank was silent for a moment, anger turning to fear as he weighed Gerard’s words in his head. “So are you… are you going back to Portland?”

At the sadness and concern in Frank’s voice Gerard’s began to calm down as well. He sighed, “No, but he’s moving out here. We’ve talked Frank, and we’re gonna try again.” He looked at Frank with eyes that were almost pleading, “He’s really going to try Frank.”

Frank felt like his insides were collapsing, he wanted to cry at Gerard’s words from a pure fear for Gerard. Sure, he was jealous but the last thing he wanted was Gerard back in an abusive situation. “Gee, I don’t if I can-“

“And I won’t force you too,” Gerard interrupted him, not wanting to hear any of his arguments. “Listen, I’m taking my medication now. I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions. You don’t have to approve of them, but if you wanna stick around you have to respect them.” And with that he went back inside, back to Todd. And Frank was left alone in the hall, crushed with a sense of loneliness and betrayal, and a feeling of dread eating at his insides. 

He didn’t follow Gerard back into the apartment.


	25. Chapter 25

Frank thought about his and Gerard’s make out session constantly, at the time he had known it meant nothing but it was astonishingly different when the full force of nothing hit him in cold reality.

Frank had left Gerard all those years ago, and whether or not it was the right thing to do didn’t change the fact that they were done and it was his fault. For the amount Frank hated Todd, he hated himself just as much. Because Frank was the reason, to a certain extent, that Todd was there. 

Frank obviously cared for Gerard, and Gerard obviously cared for Todd, so Frank should do his best to tolerate Todd, but Todd was controlling and abusive to Gerard, so Frank shouldn’t let Gerard put himself in those situations. 

It was all confusing, and frankly, Frank wasn’t sure what to do. Maybe Todd could change, maybe Gerard would realize when to get the fuck out this time, maybe Mikey would finally convince Bob to murder Todd. But Frank wasn’t sure if he should try to tangle himself in the situation anymore, because with his feelings for Gerard that were somehow only getting stronger he was obviously very biased. 

So as the next couple of months passed Frank tried to avoid situations with Todd and to not say anything critical that was undeserved. Sometimes he’d even get a flash of anger when he would see Gerard yet again free of bruising and therefore free of anything physical evidence of Todd’s flaws, but Frank always felt sick with guilt for those brief   
moments. 

It didn’t take long for the occasions on which he saw Gerard to lessen to almost exclusively when he went to Starbucks to work (Frank had switched to the afternoon shift). Frank knew he couldn’t depend on those times forever, that Gerard’s graduation was quickly approaching, but it was still a surprise to him when Gerard’s visits to the café suddenly stopped. 

He stopped by only a handful of times after that, and on one occasion when he Frank asked Gerard as to why he’d stop coming Gerard had simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Todd has to work a lot, the move was a lot harder for him ya know? So he likes for me to spend this time with him, even if I’m just doing homework.”

Frank had seen the opportunity to accuse Todd of becoming controlling again, but bit his tongue instead as he made Gerard’s drink. People make sacrifices in relationships, and Todd had sacrificed a life in Portland for Gerard so maybe it really was nothing that Gerard gave up his homework space. 

 

It was late January now, and Frank hadn’t seen Gerard since they had gotten together to celebrate his graduation. It had actually just been him and Gerard because Gerard was going to be surrounded by family soon and insisted that he and Frank had proper one on one time.

It had gone so well, they had gone to Chipotle for lunch and ended up talking and laughing for hours. It had felt like the old times when the friendship (and eventual relationship) was easy and uncomplicated.

“So,” Frank had started towards the end of the get together, “How are you and Todd doing?” For once, he had asked this in complete innocence.

Gerard smile had quirked a bit, but he relaxed after only a moment, “I think we’re good, I really do.”

Frank had only nodded. 

Presently, Frank was walking to his door to answer a rather pestering knock. “Calm down, would ya? I’m coming,” Frank called.

“Well hurry the fuck up, Iero!” Mikey answered. 

“Mikey?” Frank asked while unlocking the door, which didn’t give Mikey much time to confirm it was indeed him before Frank opened the door and did so himself. “Uh, what’s up?”

“Frank,” Mikey said, “I’m worried about Gerard.” 

Frank just nodded, his expression unchanging, before he stepped back and further opened his door, inviting Mikey into his apartment.

When they were both sitting at the table Mikey continued, “He moved in with him.”

Mikey didn’t speak after that, and Frank waited quite a while for him to continue. He was about to urge Mikey further when the full weight of what he’d already said dawned on him. “Oh,” Frank said, “Oh, _fuck._ ”

Mikey nodded, “It’s where it all started last time.” 

“When did they-“

“About 4 weeks ago, after 2 I stopped seeing Gerard and I haven’t been able to reach him for 4 days now.”

Frank was thinking everything through in his head, what was probably going on, what everything Mikey was saying meant, what Mikey being there right now meant.

Frank slowly lifted his head back up to look at Mikey with raised eyebrows, “Is there a reason Bob isn’t here right now?”

Despite himself, Mikey smiled. “I’m glad you have the same idea.”

 

They had been knocking at Gerard and Todd’s door for about 5 minutes, doing their best to make them seem calm so as not to raise any suspicion. It was possible no one was home, but both Frank and Mikey knew it was equally as possible they were being ignored. 

Frank got an idea, and turned to look at Mikey with a finger over his lips to communicate to him to stay quiet. Mikey looked confused, having not ben previously talking, but nodded.

Frank knocked again, allowing himself to do so more urgently. “Gerard?” he called, “It’s Frank, Gerard there’s be an accident. Mikey needs you.” He waited a little longer before adding, “Please.”

Mikey stepped away from the door, eying the peephole with caution, but his move proved to be superfluous because in less than a minute the door was unlocked and flung opened by a panic stricken Gerard.

It wasn’t the panic alone that made him look so awful though, his right cheek was swollen with a deep bruise and the circles under his eyes were so dark Frank’s first impression was that they were bruised as well. His hair dye was fading and the hair itself was greasy. His lips had all kinds of cuts on from him biting them, and his hand was sporting a few cigarette burns. 

“What-“ he began, but his head whipped over to look at Mikey after catching him in his peripheral vision. “What…” he said softly, sounding confused. And then just as suddenly Gerard’s gaze was back on Frank, but now he was pissed. “What the hell?! You said there’d been a-“

“The only accident,” Mikey interrupted, stepping forward, “Was letting you move back in with this bastard. Now c’mon,” he said while pushing past Gerard and through the doorway, “Let’s get your stuff, we’re leaving.”

Gerard just gaped for a moment, before turning and following Mikey on his heels yelling, “Mikey, you can’t just!”

Frank followed in behind Gerard, fully intending on helping Mikey with grabbing Gee’s stuff, when Gerard turned around to give him an accusing glance. “How dare you Frank? I told you stay out of mine and Todd’s relationship! And now here you are, encouraging whatever the fuck eccentric thing is going through Mikey’s-“

“Okay, you know what?” Frank said, cutting him off and feeling bad for doing so because Mikey had done it to him multiple times already. At this moment, Frank would’ve expected to collapse in on himself, to freeze up, or to just ignore Gerard. But for whatever reason, he was starting to get pissed. Maybe it was just pissed at Todd after the initial shock of seeing Gerard, but he didn’t much care about any reasonable explanations right now. 

“We get it Gerard, you’re an adult and you can make your own decision. But we’re also adults and we get to decide whether or not to save you from the boyfriend you know is an asshole, so we’re gonna do just that and it’s be really nice if you helped us out with it.” And then Frank stepped around Gerard and followed Mikey into their bedroom. 

Mikey had just finished packing a small bag, “We can get the rest of the stuff later, let’s just get him out to talk it all over for now.”

Frank nodded and turned back to door, finding Gerard standing in the frame looking scared. “He’s home,” he whispered, and then surprised everyone (including himself) by launching into Frank’s arms, practically clinging to him.

Frank just held him back and tightly and said, “Damn, Mikey, I’d wish you brought Bob.”

Mikey gave a small smile but said, “We really should go.” 

Frank nodded and whispered in Gerard’s ear, “Hey honey, go to Mikey and walk with him, I’ll go ahead.”

It took a second, but Gerard nodded and then made his way to Mikey. Mikey had the filled backpack hung over one shoulder, and was also Mikey, so Gerard just hugged onto his arm instead of his whole body which was probably better for walking anyway. Mikey did reach his other arm over and squeeze Gerard a bit in a makeshift one arm hug. 

Frank nodded at them before taking a deep breath and walking out of the bedroom, _their bedroom_ he couldn’t help thinking and then shuddering.

Todd saw him immediately, “What the Hell?”

Frank just stared at him until the muffled sound of Gerard and Mikey shuffling behind him reminded him exactly what was going on, “Hi Todd.”

Todd just blinked at him, and then again said, “What the Hell?”

“Yeah, so here’s the deal,” Frank said, “Gee’s leaving, like now. You guys are done.”

Todd was silent for a moment, before flashing Frank one of his crooked smiles that Frank found _so stupid, oh my fuckin’ God._

“Go ahead,” Todd taunted, “He’ll be back.”

“No,” Frank said, and against his better judgment stepped closer to Todd and was now face to face with hum, “He won’t.”

It wasn’t necessarily a surprise, but Frank still wasn’t expecting the sudden feeling of a fist violently connecting with his jaw. He stepped back, but kept his ground and therefore his pride.

“Asshole,” he muttered, before turning and leaving to find Gerard and Mikey outside. 

“How’d it go?” Mikey asked when Frank walked up to them.

“Er,” Frank said, “Could’ve been better, he punched me.”

Gerard gasped and then suddenly flooded Frank’s vision, now standing right in front of him and lightly cupping Frank’s face with both hands. “Are you hurt?” he asked in a soft yet horrified voice.

His warm breath hit Frank, and it took him a moment to respond, “I don’t think so, it’ll leave a nasty bruise but I’m fine.”

“Did you two-?”

“No,” Frank said, “Not the time.” 

Gerard just nodded and then waited a little longer before dropping his hands and stepping away from Frank. Frank released a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. 

They started walking then, Mikey leading them down the gray street. Frank noticed after a few blocks that Gerard was shivering. He couldn’t actually tell if he was just shivering or if he was shaking from anxiety, but Frank figured it was chilly and Gerard hadn’t been able to grab a jacket or anything in the rush and that one wouldn’t hurt him. 

Frank shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to Gerard. Gerard gave him a questioning look and Frank just nodded before he even had the chance to ask if it was okay.

“Thanks,” he said quietly before putting it on.

“No problem,” Frank replied just as quietly before asking, “You know everything will be all right again, right?”

Gerard chewed on his lip before saying, “Yeah.” He then slipped his hand into Frank’s and said, “I do.”


	26. Chapter 26

Gerard was sick of laying around all day. They had left Todd’s apartment 3 days ago, and he’d been staying at Mikey’s place. Which was a nice way of putting it, considering he had barely left his room (which had only recently been returned to its previous status of the bonus room). Part of it was just him being tired from so many sleepless nights, and some of it was him needing to rest mentally as well. But he needed to get up and start moving around again, like a normal person. 

When they had first gotten back to Mikey’s after their departure from Todd’s, Frank had stayed with him. Mikey handed Gerard the backpack, muttering something about going to talk to Bob, and had walked into his own bedroom leaving Frank and Gerard alone. 

Frank had stood around awkwardly, fiddling with his pockets. “So, um, I guess I’ll get going-“

“Stay with me?” Gerard had asked, cutting him off.

Frank had nodded, following Gerard into his old room.

They hadn’t done anything, just laid in bed for a while, holding each other. Eventually, Gerard had fallen asleep and when he woke up Frank was gone. 

He hadn’t seen him sense, and Gerard was presently trying to convince Mikey to not worry about him so much. 

“Seriously Mikes, I’ll be fine. You have to go back to work eventually, and considering I’m going crazy from staying in for an actual reason I’m surprised you haven’t gone insane.”

Mikey was chewing his lip, eyebrows furrowed in worry and indecision, “I don’t know, maybe I should just go in late, Bob will be home soon anyway.”

“ _Mikey,_ ” Gerard insisted, “I’m not 10.”

Mikey thought for a little while longer and then sighed, “All right, but do me a favor and please don’t leave until Bob gets home. It’ll be like 2 hours max.”

Gerard resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because Mikey did have slight reason to worry after all, and he’d been so kind to him. “I won’t,” he promised, “But uh, Mikey?”

“Yeah?” he replied absentmindedly, busy with getting ready to leave.

“If you see Frank, can you ask him to come ‘round?”

Mikey paused, and then turned to look at Gerard. He thought for a moment before nodding, “Yeah,” he said, “I will.”

“Thank you,” Gerard said, and then walked back to his room to lay down yet again. 

 

Mikey had only been gone for about 40 minutes when Gerard heard a soft knock on the door. He sprang out of bed, assuming it was Frank. It was odd for him to be here already, but maybe he’d been clocking out as Mikey was clocking in or something similar.

Gerard took a minute to change out of the sweatpants he was wearing into a pair of black skinny jeans, deciding to leave the old band shirt, before walking to the front to answer the door. 

Gerard really needed to get into the habit of checking the peep hole. 

Standing before him was Todd, smiling. Gerard froze, his blood turning to ice. “Hey Gee,” Todd said.

Gerard wasn’t sure what to do, so he just kept staring.

“Can I come in?” Todd asked.

This is the part Gerard would nod and be compliant, they would restart their relationship and it’d be blissfully normal until it wasn’t and then it would be awful and Gerard would miraculously be pulled out somehow and then it would start all over again. 

But Gerard decided, _No,_ and then said out loud, “No.”

Todd’s calm smile faltered, but he quickly fixed it. “Well all right, should we talk out in the hall?”

Gerard didn’t want to talk to Todd, he wanted to shut the door in his face and for him to no longer exist in Gerard’s life. But Gerard realized for that to really happen he would have to communicate verbally to Todd that it was over. So he nodded and stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him. 

“So,” Todd said, “Are you coming home?”

Gerard shook his head and Todd’s expression morphed into one of distress.

“But, Gee…” he said.

“Todd, it’s over.”

And then Todd stepped forward, putting his hands on Gerard’s arms, and Gerard tensed in fear. But Todd leaned down and put his lips gently against Gerard’s. 

Gerard didn’t respond, not pulling back and not kissing back. He knew what was happening.

When Todd pulled back he was looking at Gerard with pleading eyes, “Baby please-“

“No, Todd.” Gerard said firmly, stepping easily out of Todd’s unsuspecting grasp. “I mean it, it’s over. For good. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“But Gerard, Gee, I love you. And I’m sorry, but we both have problems. Please we can work it out, come on.”

And what he was saying was true, Gerard knew he had problems too and that on some level he did play a role in triggering Todd’s problems. And maybe they could’ve worked it out, if they really tried, but each new attempt was always relaxed halfway through and suddenly they’d find themselves in the same place.

And Gerard really did love Todd, or at least had at a time. So Todd must’ve really loved Gerard, or at least had at one time. But Gerard didn’t love this Todd, and he realized this Todd would never go away.

“You don’t love me Todd, not the actual me that’s too complex for your controlling-ass mind. And I’m god damn _tired,_ Todd. I can’t help you change, and I was a fool for thinking I could.”

“You can’t just leave me,” Todd said, and Gerard tried to ignore his fear as he saw the familiar anger that was blooming in Todd’s eyes. “Not after all we’ve been through.”

“And you can’t just stand here and claim we’ll be better after all we’ve been through!” Gerard yelled back, embarrassed for probably causing a scene but knowing it was either this or silent compliance. “You’re an abusive asshole and it’s over!”

And then slapped Gerard. Gerard closed his eyes in the sudden pain and brought a hand to his face to cover the assaulted cheek.

“Shut the fuck up,” Todd said in a low voice that was steady but hard with rage, “You’re being unreasonable.

Gerard opened his eyes to glare at him, the sting reminding him of the first time. How the shock has caused his silence and how the seemingly isolated incident became so much more. But there was no shock, no surprise, in Todd’s action to throw Gerard off now. 

Gerard reeled his fist back and then pushed it forward in full force, it felt very slow and dramatic but took probably less than 5 seconds for his punch to hit Todd square in the nose. 

There was a sickening crack, and then Todd was leaning forward slightly into his hands that were catching the blood gushing out of his nose. 

“Goodbye Todd,” Gerard said, before stepping quickly back into the apartment and locking the door. 

 

Gerard took about 15 minutes to calm down from the adrenaline. He checked himself in the mirror, pouting at the fact there was a deep red mark on the cheek Todd had slapped.

But once Gerard thought it over, began to really realize what had happened, he started to smile. Todd was gone, gone for good. He was sure of it. And Gerard had made it happen. Gerard had been alone with him and he had stood up for himself. There was nothing he couldn’t do.

So, holding on to that feeling, he decided to do the second craziest thing he could think of, now that he had done his first. 

Noting the rain he could see from the window, he grabbed his jacket as he ran out the door.

 

Frank had only just stepped out of the Barnes & Noble when he saw Gerard running down the street towards him. 

“Jesus Christ- Gerard stop running the streets are fuckin’ swamped!”

When Gerard reached him he stopped abruptly, putting a hand on Frank’s shoulder as he leaned forward a bit catching his breath. He was smiling like an idiot but panting and so red-faced he looked like he ran the whole way there (because he had).

“Gee what the hell? I was on my way to your place.”

Gerard shook his head, “Couldn’t wait,” he said simply.

“Are you all right?” Frank asked, beginning to feel nervous.

Gerard nodded, and stood up straight with his breath normal but one side of his face still oddly red. The smile remained on his face, as did his hand on Frank’s shoulder. “Never better Frank, Todd came over and-“

“What the fuck?!” Frank interrupted, anger and panic beginning to pulse through his body. “Did he hurt you? I swear I’ll-“

“No, Frank stop, _listen,_ ” Gerard said, laughing a bit breathlessly and now holding both of Frank’s shoulders now. “I mean he slapped me-“

“He _what?!_ ” Frank said horrified, bringing his hand up to Gerard’s face.

“But I punched him, and Frank it’ _over._ Like for real this time, he’s gone and it’s over.”

Gerard was looking at him with such eager eyes and so much pride, biting down on his bottom lip and looking like a fuckin’ over excited 12 year old.

“Well thank _fuck,_ ” Frank said before kissing him hard in the street.


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned this in the comments somewhere, but since this is the end I feel the need to mention that Blank Space by Taylor Swift really influenced this story. I got most of my ideas while listening to that song and played it while writing a LOT. I don't even understand, I've never been a big fan of her's but man that song is POPPIN

After their kiss in the street, Frank and Gerard decided to get back together but to take it _really_ slow considering how recently Gerard had just gotten out of an abusive relationship.

But it only took them 6 months to move in together, Gerard needed to get out of Mikey and Bob’s apartment and naturally decided to stay at Frank’s while looking for his own place. But one week quickly turned into two, and after that they didn’t bother with kidding themselves and just unpacked Gerard’s few boxes.

It had been about 10 months since they had started their relationship (part 2, as Bob would tease) when Gerard said to Frank as he strummed his guitar one night, “I think you should try again with music.”

Frank looked up at him with raised eyebrows, “So Mikey talked to you too huh?”

Gerard smiled, turning away from him to continue washing dishes as he spoke, “But maybe he has a point, I’ve been telling him for a while that music’s been on my mind, the comic world just isn’t interesting me right now. And maybe he’s being a little dramatic with all the “it’s a sign” shit, but what would be a better time than when Fall Out Boy’s on hiatus right?”

Frank just smiled at him, “Do you two know how similar y’all can be sometimes?”

“Did you just fucking say ‘y’all?’” Gerard asked, turning to Frank with his nose scrunched up in what was fake disgust.

Frank laughed and set his guitar down, standing up and walking over to Gerard. He wrapped his arms around his waist from behind him, pressing his chest to Gerard’s back. 

“Hey,” he whispered. 

“Stop,” Gerard said, though he was doing a poor job at hiding his smile, “I have to do the dishes.”

“Hmm,” Frank hummed and then pressed a few kisses to Gerard’s neck, smiling when he got to a certain spot and heard Gerard give a soft “ah, aah,” in response. “I’ll finish them later if you come to the bedroom with me.”

Gerard spun around fast and collided his lips against Frank’s.

 

Gerard stepped out of the building for Eyeball Records and into the cool air and felt like he could finally _breathe._ They still had a few hours before they could call it a day, but Gerard’s anxiety had started acting up again and he needed a moment.

After about two minutes he heard the door opened and closed, and when he turned around he saw Frank.

“Hey,” Frank said, but Gerard just nodded and then turned back to continue staring at the crack in the sidewalk.

Without hearing him approach Frank was suddenly next to him, and he slipped his hand into Gerard’s. “You’re doing great,” he said and squeezed his hand reassuringly, “This is going to work.”

Gerard turned to look at Frank, their eyes meeting. “You really think so?”

Frank nodded, “We’re gonna be great babe, we already are.” He then added teasingly, “And maybe if you weren’t such a god damn drama queen all the time you’d see it.”

Gerard blushed but smiled, “I love you so much.”

Frank smiled back, “I love you too.”

“And thank fuck for that,” Gerard said.

Frank laughed and pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Gerard hair and said, “Thank fuck for Starbucks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FRIENDS woah i ended it on a super lame note but i dont care whatever FIGHT ME  
> a few things:  
> -i hope y'all enjoyed the story and THANK YOU for the kudos, bookmarks, comments, and for just reading it in the first place. it makes me super happy :)))))  
> -i'm definitely gonna write more, but i'm gonna take a little break (like one or two weeks) to get some stuff done  
> -i have 2 big ideas for what to do next but i'm not sure which i wanna do first; 1) a kind of part 2 to this story but one that follows Mikey and his relationship with Bob and his friendship with pete and patrick and yeah 2) another Frank/Gerard that's a Parks and Recreation AU (parks and rec is a tv show, if you don't know, it's on netflix and super funny)  
> so if you have a preference let me know!  
> -i made a tumblr! booberrypop.tumblr.com check it out and follow if you like :) i'm like following no one so it's pretty likely i'll follow you back tbh  
> Have a great day!!! you're all gr8 af!!!


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